Blog - GenParenting

Dec 26 2017

How to Handle Social Challenges

I was painfully shy as kid. I cried every morning when my mom dropped me off at school during the first week of kindergarten. I cried when her face wasn’t the first one I saw when school let out for the day. In fact, I was so leery of social interaction that I sat in my teacher’s lap that year for school pictures! Thankfully, my parents have helped me through my timidity and I’ve come a long way from since I was in kindergarten! Here are a few lessons I have taught my own kids to help guide them through different social challenges. [Read more…]

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Dec 19 2017

Another Temper Tantrum!

It has been a long week of challenges. First your child is sick. Then you get sick. A water pipe breaks and your car needs a tow for a maintenance service. What can a parent do to manage their children’s unhappiness when these disruptive events contribute to their temper tantrums? When I am having a bad day with lots of stress and children’s temper tantrums, I enlist the “Five A’s of Parenthood”:

The Five A’s of Parenthood

Accept: You and your child can accept that it has been a challenging day and you can tell her that you accept her frustration and it is ok that she is angry, sad, and needs to express herself. You can also set boundaries on where she can have her tantrum or you may choose to walk away and then return once she calms down.
Appreciate: Help your child relax and reflect on life. When all else fails, have your child state three good things that have happened to her during the day. If she cannot remember anything good, I will tell her that she is loved by me, she is loved by her favorite snuggly toy, and she has a loving family.
Accomplish: Once your child calms down from her tantrum and you are feeling positive, you can give her a job that will help you. My child loves to unload the dishwasher which is a huge help for me and very appreciated by the family.
Acknowledge: Once your daughter completes her task, tell her how much she has helped you and how careful she is when completing her job. This support and acknowledgement will reinforce a positive relationship between both of you.
Act: Once all is calm, consider how you can manage the rest of the day to minimize more stressful situations that can generate more temper tantrums.

[Read more…]

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Dec 12 2017

Teaching Children to Give

The holidays are upon us. During this time we place a lot of attention on giving our kids what they want. Children are often focused on making sure the adults in their lives know what they want as gifts. The media is full of ideas of the latest and greatest toy or technological wonder that is a “must have” for the holiday season.

This time is also a time of charitable giving. We are aware of those families and individuals who are in need. Charitable organizations and caring individuals go through great efforts to see to the needs of people who are having difficulty providing for themselves and their families.

During this time of giving, we have an opportunity to teach our children the importance of giving. [Read more…]

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Dec 05 2017

Family Members Must Accommodate for a Special Needs Child

Most parents, who have children with special needs, struggle with how to respond to the other children in their family. Some parents overly accommodate for the special needs child and ignore the needs of their other children. Other parents reward the other siblings by indulging in their material needs because they do not have time for quality activities. Typically, when parents cannot find the time to care for all of their children, the other children may respond by:

Acting out aggressively with anger and frustration
Shutting down and hiding their emotions
Becoming overly kind and not taking care of their own personal needs

[Read more…]

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Nov 28 2017

Manage School Days for Your Kids

School is in session. The days are growing shorter. Afterschool programs fill our days. We bring our children home from school after full days of school, work, socialization, sports, and errands. When we arrive home, all of us are tired. How can we respond to family stress when the kids are fighting, dinner needs to be made, homework needs be completed, and we must prepare for the next day of school?

Strategies

Listed below are five key strategies to simplify your kids’ school days:

Model stress management behavior. Our children learn how to respond to stress from us. When we take a deep breath, reflect, and choose our words carefully, our children can learn from our healthy actions. Most of us cannot detach from stress quickly. Thus, we fall into the trap of evening family chaos. When we conduct ourselves calmly and respectfully, our family will be happier during the nightly routines.
Dinner strategies that support a relaxed evening. When families arrive home from a busy day, most are looking for a break. The kids want to play or watch television. The parents want to change into their cozy clothes and just relax. The preschoolers demand their hugs and quality time with their parents. How can we unwind and adequately prepare dinner with so many demands? Some families preplan their dinners for the week and eat leftovers every other day. Some make simple meals on alternate nights while others occasionally grab prepared food at the store. Whatever strategy you choose, plan ahead to minimize conflict and maximize quality time with your family.
Set evening routines to reduce stress. Regardless of how well you plan for nighttime needs, it is important for families to consider the best time for their children to complete homework. Some families love to get up early, eat breakfast, and review spelling words and math facts in the morning. Some children work best on their homework after outside play and a nutritious afternoon snack. Others work on homework while dinner is being prepared for the family. Parents should be flexible in helping their children organize homework schedules. Some children are ready to learn after an afternoon activity, while others like to finish homework early so that they can have free time in the evening.
Balance each school day. As the demands of the school year increase, your children may tire earlier in the day and may need guidance on how to manage their schedules. Some children love to binge watch television. Others need lots of outside time to run and stretch their muscles. Many are very social and want daily play dates with friends. We must help our children structure their day to allow sufficient time for rest, eating, relaxation, homework, and socialization. We too, will be learning as we help our children adjust their days so that they are rested, happy, and enthusiastic about their next school day.
Get help when needed. As we juggle our work schedules, family responsibilities, and the nurturing of our children’s development, we may need to find added support. Many parents try to manage demanding schedules by themselves, which can be overwhelming and exhausting. Children can thrive with support shared by family, neighbors, and afterschool friends. A child friendly schedule for working parents requires flexibility and creativity. We should use support networks to simplify our days and provide our children with loving, stimulating, and nurturing care. When the childcare and carpool schedules meet our needs, the household functions more smoothly. However, alternative plans should be identified to account for sickness, changed schedules, and childcare adjustments.

[Read more…]

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