GenParenting

Parenting resources for all who love and care for children

Why Your Child Hates School (Part 1)

Why Your Child Hates School (Part 1)

As a special education teacher, I’ve worked with students across the spectrum—both neurotypical and neurodivergent—who struggle with school. I see the frustration on their faces, the reluctance in their steps, and the exhaustion in their voices when they tell their parents, “I hate school.”

If your child has ever said these words, you’re not alone. Many parents hear this, and their immediate reaction is concern, frustration, or helplessness. Why does your child feel this way? Is it something specific, or is it just a phase? And most importantly—what can you do about it?

Why Kids Hate School: The Common Reasons

  1. It’s Too Hard (or Too Easy)

For many students, schoolwork is either too challenging or not challenging enough.

  • A child who struggles academically may feel frustrated and defeated, dreading school because it reminds them of their difficulties.
  • A child who finds the work too easy may feel bored and disengaged, leading to a lack of motivation and even behavior issues.

For Neurodivergent Students: Many neurodivergent students, especially those with learning disabilities, ADHD, or autism, may struggle with processing speed, working memory, or attention, making learning feel overwhelming. Others, particularly gifted students, may feel unchallenged and unmotivated.

What Parents Can Do:

  • If your child finds school too difficult, work with their teacher to explore accommodations, interventions, or additional support. A 504 Plan or IEP (Individualized Education Plan) may be necessary.
  • If your child is bored, speak with the school about enrichment opportunities, acceleration, or more challenging assignments.
  • Provide opportunities at home for problem-solving, creativity, and hands-on learning to keep their mind engaged.

  1. Social Struggles and Peer Relationships

Friendships and social dynamics play a huge role in a child’s experience at school. If your child is struggling socially, school can feel like an emotionally exhausting place.

  • They may feel lonely or left out.
  • They may experience bullying or exclusion.
  • They may have trouble understanding social cues or forming friendships.

For Neurodivergent Students: Many neurodivergent children struggle with social communication and may find it difficult to navigate friendships. Sensory sensitivities, misunderstandings, or rigid thinking patterns can also make social interactions stressful.

What Parents Can Do:

  • Encourage social skills practice through role-playing, books, or structured social activities.
  • Reach out to teachers or school counselors for support in fostering positive peer interactions.
  • Connect your child with clubs, hobbies, or activities where they can meet like-minded peers.

[Read more…]

How to Get Involved in Your Kid’s School

How to Get Involved in Your Kid’s School

In the modern age of communication, schools inundate parents with messages about schedules, coffee with the principal, upcoming events, and opportunities to participate in training. Like most parents I have spoken to, I often save those emails and texts for later, hoping that “future me” will be able to find a way to participate more meaningfully. In most schools, a small percentage of parents are highly involved, a few more come to monthly events and meetings, and the majority only come to major events like Back to School Night and Parent Conferences. I am one of the “Monthly Event” parents, and my wife and I are constantly trying to determine how we can get more engaged.

But some would ask, “Why bother?” If I go to the big events, I support my child by helping with homework. I provide meaningful learning opportunities at home. I also make sure my child attends school. Why do I have to take time to go to campus? This is an especially pertinent question given that many schools only offer engagement opportunities between 8 AM and 5 PM. This means parents have to leave work early or take time off to come to the school to support.

What Our Kids Observe

The answer is in the perception of the child. Our involvement at our child’s school reinforces the value and importance of education. It solidifies the child’s understanding that the adults in their life are working together to make sure the child gets the best education possible. It also helps to build relationships and understanding between teachers, staff, and parents making it easier for that team to collaborate and more difficult for the child to play adults against each other. When school adults and home adults are working in partnership to provide a great educational experience, the student will take his or her education more seriously and the adults will be able to better meet the needs of the student.

Strategies to Get Involved

So how can you get involved? Here are some tips for getting engaged in a way that is meaningful to you:

  1. If you are the parent of a child with special needs or the parent of an English Learner (EL), inquire about the opportunities your school has for you. Schools are required to have a School Advisory Council that includes parents as members, and they have to have an EL Parent Advisory Council. These meetings are led by the school principal and attended by a variety of stakeholders, including parents!
  2. Also, if your child has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP), you should attend and engage in your child’s IEP meeting! Often parents think the educators know best, and they do have a lot of strategies that are great for your child. But so do you! You know your child best and you can offer a lot that would help them succeed.
  3. Most schools are looking for volunteers to help with field trips or fundraisers, and many schools would love to have some more adults around to help with supervision. Ask your school’s administration how you can sign up to be a parent volunteer.
  4. Bring fruit or water to your school’s sporting events. Of course, make sure you check in with the coach or athletic director first. The kids will love to have some orange slices or snacks after the game. This could make you the football hero mom/dad!
  5. When you see a need, offer your help! Instead of just bringing concerns forward, jump in like a partner. If you see traffic is crazy during drop-off, ask if you can be trained to help direct traffic a couple of days per week. If you see that the kids look bored during recess, offer to bring in arts and crafts the kids could do in the lunch area. If your kid’s teachers seem tired, bring them some coffee and donuts!

No matter how you get involved, think of a way that fits for you and just jump in. When you do, talk to your child about what you are doing and how you are engaging at the school. This should lead to more conversations with your child and a lasting impression of the importance of their education.

Elementary School Homework to Support All Learners

Elementary School Homework to Support All Learners

As a special education teacher, I often have conversations with parents about homework. Parents want to know: Is homework truly beneficial? Should their child be spending time on assignments after school, or would they be better off focusing on other activities? The answer depends. The appropriateness of homework depends on the individual student, their learning needs, and the way the assignments are structured. [Read more…]

Overcoming Reading Barriers

Overcoming Reading Barriers

Every January, I set a goal for the number of books I will read over the course of the next 12 months. I try to compete with my friend from college, Nick. His stats increase each year and I typically find myself hopelessly behind within a matter of a few months. While I enjoy the competition and I do enjoy the relaxing gift of reading a book, this wasn’t always the case. I distinctly remember only wanting to read Garfield or Calvin and Hobbes cartoon books when I was a kid. My parents never waivered in their efforts to find some books I would enjoy. One summer in late elementary school, my mom brought home Drummer Boy at Bull Run by Gilbert Morris. Something about the historical context and the relatable teen drama and issues had me enthralled. I proceeded to read the entire series. From that point forward, I am always looking for the next book that will captivate me the same way I was captivated that summer. [Read more…]

Homework Can Be a Game Changer!

Homework Can Be a Game Changer!

After 40 years of teaching, parenting, and now grandparenting, I have helped hundreds of kids and supported countless parents with homework challenges. Some students love to get their homework done and demand instant help from parents regardless of the family’s schedule. Others race through their assignments and will write down any answer just to get rid of the assignment so they can pursue fun activities. And then there are the anxious students who are overwhelmed with many assignments and need lots of encouragement and help. The problem is most parents are not equipped to help their children adequately at home because of time, knowledge, or having to deal with difficult panic behaviors with their children. So, what can a parent do to make this task more enjoyable for all? [Read more…]