Your Child Hurts Himself and Doesn’t Want to Cry!
One of my friends brought her child over to my home to play with my grandson. While running around the backyard, my friend’s son, Nathan, stumbled and fell hard on his knee. The knee was severely bruised and bloody. Shockingly, Nathan withheld any emotion although he was in extreme pain. My friend and I were alarmed that he was too self-conscious and afraid to express his true emotions. When approaching Nathan about his injury, my friend responded to his distress by:
- Encouraging him to express how he felt
- Telling him it was OK to cry
- Reassuring and cuddling her son
- Having her son help when washing and applying medicine on the knee
As an adult, I hardly ever cry. I don’t think it is healthy. I held back my emotions when family members were ill because I did not want to worry other family members and create turmoil. I wanted to be a good girl and denied my emotions to take care of the family.
When raising my children and now my grandchild, I have encouraged them to express their emotions. I want my grandson to learn how to feel his emotions and express them. If a child withholds his feelings, he may not identify his true feelings. Over time, the child may develop anxiety, anger, or depression about life’s circumstances.
When your child puts himself last and everyone else first, healthy relationships with family members have limited grow and may not be nurtured.
May you resolve those trying times with loving tears!
Copyright © 2018 by GenParenting
Joyce Iwasaki has over thirty years of educational experience working with diverse students in grades from preschool through high school. Joyce’s extensive background includes teaching elementary school, serving on early childhood advisory boards, and advocating for educational initiatives as a legislative aide. During her tenure as a legislative aide, she helped create legislation that allowed incarcerated mothers to keep their newborn babies with them while in prison. Additional legislation was enacted to allow incarcerated pregnant mothers to remain unshackled during labor and delivery. Ms. Iwasaki established and served as the president of an educational scholarship foundation for fifteen years. Her foundation awarded college scholarships to emerging student leaders who provided service to their schools and communities. Joyce is active in performing arts and cultural organizations. She also provides ongoing support to her daughter and family by raising her grandson in her home.