GenParenting

Parenting resources for all who love and care for children

Parenting

Special Needs

Managing Daily Family Life

Managing Daily Family Life

Once families become busy with work, school, outside enrichment activities, community service, and college and career planning activities, they can easily become overscheduled and stressed by the many demands for their time. Through weekly family meetings, families can sit down together and coordinate their daily schedules. They can determine how household chores will be completed, how to manage allowances, and how they will give back to their communities. Family members can discuss how they will address challenges and an emerging family crisis. They can celebrate successes as a family, discuss family activities, and plan for trips. Each family member can rotate responsibilities when serving as the meeting facilitator or a secretary to record family decisions.

Sample Family Meeting Agenda

A typical family meeting agenda may include the following topics:

  • A celebration and recognition of a family member’s successes
  • A review of each member’s household chores for the upcoming week
  • Clarification of allowances offered to various family members and weekly allowance payment
  • A discussion of the overall schedule for the coming week including parents’ driving schedules for school drop-offs, afterschool coordinated activities, the childcare schedule, and any special events for the family
  • A discussion on any community service or volunteer activities for coordination
  • Ongoing planning for family mini vacations and a longer summer vacation
  • A discussion and updates on family members or friends who are ill, need added support, or any emerging family need
  • Anything else that requires discussion, coordination, or support services

Brainstorming Solutions at Family Meetings

Once a family becomes comfortable with the family meeting format, families can actively discuss challenging and difficult topics in relation to the family’s values. If a family member is suffering from a debilitating illness, family members can brainstorm how they can support the family member per the following examples:

  • All family members can create a series of get-well cards as a family art activity and one member can make sure to mail the card with a message weekly.
  • Another family member can organize a dinner delivery plan with local neighbors, friends, the extended family, and a church group.
  • A parent can organize a driving schedule for doctors’ visits.
  • A family member can help with the financial management of bills and household chores.

As family members work together as a unit and model effective problem-solving skills, the parents and their children model how families can effectively work together to manage daily challenges and emerging critical needs. This model will help children become effective in the daily management of their lives as they become more independent and seek career and college opportunities and experiences beyond their family. [Read more…]

How to Form School Partnerships – Part 2

How to Form School Partnerships – Part 2

Last week, we described how Kyle was able to overcome an enormous power struggle by:

  • Talking about previous successes and the current challenge of not being able to complete the assignment
  • Expressing feelings of frustration, anger, sadness, and fear from the student and his parents
  • Meeting with the teacher and the student together to brainstorm a satisfying solution
  • Following-up with Kyle to ensure that he felt supported by his parents’ coaching to achieve success
  • Being open to try an alternative solution to a difficult problem
  • Having parents and the student recognize that they were caught in a power struggle and that the parents were owning the student’s problem

[Read more…]

Partner with Your Children’s School

Partner With Your Children’s School

Participating parents typically report more satisfaction with the school’s staff and their children’s academic success. Parents with little or no access to the school tend to become frustrated when their children are not successful at school. These parents may not know how to adequately partner with the school’s staff to access the resources required for their children’s success.

When parents reach out to other non-participating parents, all students benefit from these outreach efforts. Most teachers will visit with students’ parents several times a year. Other teachers will travel to students’ homes to meet with parents who have never attended a school meeting or event. Non-participating parents may be afraid of the school because of a previous bad experience. Some may fear they have a language barrier because they may not be able to adequately communicate with staff. Other parents may be afraid of the school’s staff because of cultural differences.

Regardless of the reasons for the lack of communications between parents and the school, effective partnerships can be formed. Through these school-parent partnerships, parents will gain insight on each child’s needs to ensure effective academic support at home and access to additional community resources.

How to Partner with the Teacher

Parents have learned that forming an effective partnership with their children’s classroom teachers can help when addressing questions and concerns that may arise throughout the school year. Some children will feel challenged with the classroom management procedures. Others will become challenged with the grade level work and homework assignments. Many children will struggle with how to socialize with new classmates and teachers.

Check-in discussions with your children and briefly meeting with their teachers can have lasting effects on their abilities to success during the school per the following examples:

  • Adjusting to classroom management procedures that can be reinforced at home to help your child’s success in the classroom
  • Arranging for added academic support services for a child experiencing learning challenges or requiring remedial tutoring in a basic subject.
  • Working with the teacher to help your child adapt to the teacher’s personality and classroom expectations
  • Helping your child learn how to socialize with classmates at school and with afterschool and weekend playdates

Becoming a Parent Volunteer

When parents are able to volunteer in their children’s classroom, they gain insight in how their children are adjusting to the new school year. Parents are able to network and meet other parents and students for added support and socialization. When parents work at their children’s school, they are able to advocate effectively with teachers and staff because they have an established relationship and committed partnership with the school community. Parents can become successful advocates and coaches in partnership with their children when they:

  • Meet with teachers formally and informally.
  • Discuss their children’s academic strengths and challenges.
  • Brainstorm solutions for academic growth.
  • Create a student success plan with teachers.
  • Check-in on a regular schedule as needed to resolve challenges.
  • Identify added consequences at home or school for misbehaviors.

Creating a Partnership Plan for Success

Here is a case study about how Kyle’s parents resolved troubling reports about their son’s performance in his 8th grade English class.

 

Case Study of Kyle’s Need for Added Writing Tutorial Support in Middle School

 

Kyle was a gifted student. He had mastered basic writing skills as a preschooler and during his early years in elementary school. From the time he was three, Kyle would take his journal and dictate stories to his grandmother about scary monsters, life with his twin sisters, and how he would become an industrious construction business owner when he became an adult. During his elementary school years, he would enter writing contests at school and would win awards for creative writing and writing research narratives. Now he is an 8th grade student attempting to learn how to write his first research paper using the American Psychology Association’s (APA) style of writing to prepare for 9th grade Honors English classes. The basic APA rules of formatting, citation documentation, and reference requirements have paralyzed Kyle’s writing skills. He has lost his passion to complete a 20-page manuscript for his final middle school English project. His parents have coached him, guided him, encouraged him, and resorted to threatening restrictions if he does not complete this mandatory paper.

 

Finally, Kyle’s mom contacts his English teacher to strategize how they will coach and motivate Kyle to complete this final course requirement. The teacher asks Kyle to come to school with his mom to construct a plan of action. When they meet, his teacher listens attentively to Kyle’s concerns about completing the research paper correctly. She and Kyle brainstorm solutions. After further discussion, they agree that Kyle can write his paper without worrying about the research citations and stylistic requirements. He will need to highlight and number any research-based literature that he uses in his paper. Then he will duplicate the copyright page in each book used for a citation and number the book’s documentation with the corresponding citation number. Once he completes his paper, he will partner with peers to help him format the paper per APA stylistic requirements.

 

This agreed upon solution represented a victory for all without any power struggles, helicopter parenting, or tiger mama challenges. It also allowed Kyle the freedom to problem-solve a workable solution with his mother serving as a coach and facilitative supporter. Kyle was elated about his accomplishment of completing a successful final English writing project.

 

 

Managing School Year Stress

Managing School Year Stress

During the first weeks of each semester, children will come home daily with many needs, stories of exciting adventures, and frustrating challenges that must be resolved. Parents typically feel overwhelmed with the many school supplies needed for each classroom. Added paperwork must be completed for classroom teachers. Children must also adjust their personal schedules to meet individual classroom schedules.

Managing Stress

We can model effective stress management behavior by taking a deep breath, reflecting, and choosing our words carefully as life becomes demanding. Our family will be happier during the afterschool routines if we are calm and respectful. Most family members need a break when they first arrive home from work and afterschool activities. The kids want to play or watch television. The parents want to change into their cozy clothes and relax. Younger children demand hugs and quality time with their parents. Some families preplan their dinners each week and eat leftovers every other day to simplify and support a relaxed evening. Other families make simple meals on alternate nights and purchase prepared food at the grocery store. Whatever the solution for dinner preparation, it is important to strive for a relaxed evening. [Read more…]

Getting Ready For Next School Year

Getting Ready for the Next School Year

Once you decide on a school for the upcoming school year, it is important to plan ahead throughout the spring and summer. For example, during the last weeks of summer, it is important to help your children plan for the first days of school by coaching them to become organized for the first day of school. Many children have later bedtimes during the summer. It is helpful to slowly adjust their wake-up and bedtime hours to align with the school year schedule a couple of weeks before school starts. Your children may resist at first, but the family will feel successful that they are ready for the new school year. [Read more…]