Focusing on Your Child’s Learning Progress and Not Perfection

“Take pride in how far you’ve come. Have faith in how far you can go. But don’t forget the journey.” by Michael Josephson

We knew the school year would end when the year started, but never realized how fast it would come. It’s hard to stop, step back, and just look at how far we’ve come. The mountains we have climbed or the forever-long valleys that we thought would never end, but we did it.  We all did hard things. We grew.

As a special education teacher, I’ve had the privilege of watching hundreds of students grow academically, socially, emotionally, and personally. Some students leap ahead quickly, others take smaller steps, and a few struggle quietly in the shadows. But one thing I’ve learned is this: progress looks different for every child, and it all matters. Every small victory, no matter how tiny it may seem, deserves to be celebrated at the end of the year or whenever they happen.

As parents, getting caught up in benchmarks, grades, comparisons, or even the long road ahead is easy. We worry if our child is reading at grade level, keeping up in math, or getting along with others. We scroll through social media and see other kids’ achievements and start wondering, “Are we doing enough? Is my child falling even further behind with everything we’re doing?” But I want to remind you: Your child’s journey is their own. And every bit of progress counts.

Why Focusing on Progress Matters

Children are not machines—they don’t develop at the same pace or in the same way. Some kids take off in reading in kindergarten, while others might not find their rhythm until second or third grade. Some struggle with reading or math for years, then suddenly it comes together. The path isn’t linear. It’s full of dips, turns, plateaus, and bursts.

When we celebrate only the big moments—the awards, the perfect test scores, the standout performances—we unintentionally send a message that only perfection is worthy of praise. But when we recognize the small wins—completing a book, staying focused for 10 minutes, asking for help, using kind words—we help our children build confidence and resilience.

Progress is what leads to success. And acknowledging it fuels motivation.

What Small Victories Look Like

Small victories aren’t always flashy. They often happen quietly, in moments you might miss if you aren’t watching closely. Here are just a few examples I’ve seen:

• A student who used to avoid reading time finally picks a book on their own
• A child who struggles with handwriting writes a whole sentence without giving up
• A student with anxiety raises their hand to answer a question in front of the class
• A child who’s been impulsive takes a deep breath and uses a strategy to stay calm
• A third grader remembers their math facts with just a little less prompting

These are real, meaningful steps forward. They’re often the result of hard work, perseverance, and support—both at school and at home. And they’re worth celebrating. And perhaps a very loud cheerleader in your corner, never giving up and always moving the needle forward no matter the time of year.

Shifting the Focus at Home

So, how can you, as a parent, help your child focus on progress rather than perfection? Here are a few ideas that come straight from my experience in the classroom and conversations with other families:

1. Notice the Effort: Instead of asking, “Did you get 100%?” try asking, “What did you learn today?” or “What felt easier than it used to?” Celebrate the effort your child puts into their work, even if the result isn’t perfect. Praise things like persistence, creativity, courage, and problem-solving.
2. “Last Day” Shout-Out: Take a picture of your child holding a sign that celebrates a specific win (“I mastered my multiplication facts!” or “I learned to ask for help when I need it!”).
3. Special Treat or Activity: Let them pick a fun, low-cost way to celebrate: a walk to the park, popsicles after dinner, or staying up 15 minutes later.
4. Create a Victory Journal or Jar: Start a family habit of writing down “wins” in a notebook or dropping notes in a jar. They can be school-related or personal: “I stood up for a friend today.” “I tried broccoli again.” “I spelled ‘because’ right without looking.” Review these wins regularly. They become a tangible reminder of growth.
5. Reframe Comparison: When your child says, “Everyone else is better than me,” gently remind them that every learner is on their own path. You can say, “Let’s talk about how far you’ve come,” and point to specific examples. Try using “then and now” language: “You used to need help to read that page. Now you can do it on your own!”

A Word of Encouragement

If your child is struggling, whether it’s with schoolwork, behavior, or friendships, please know this: their struggles do not define them. They are growing every day in ways that may not show up on a report card. And you, as their parent, are making a difference, just by cheering them on.

You don’t need to wait for perfect moments to celebrate your child. Celebrate when they keep trying. Celebrate when they show kindness. Celebrate when they bounce back from disappointment and when they take those first steps down the stairs on their own. These are the victories that shape character and build lifelong learners.

End of the School Year Growth Reflections

As we wrap up the school year, it’s the perfect time to reflect not only on report card grades but also on the many layers of growth that might not show up in traditional ways. Whether your child is in kindergarten or high school, every grade level presents unique challenges, and every child makes progress in their own time. Maybe your first grader finally mastered those tricky sight words, or your middle schooler became more independent with homework. Maybe your high schooler stepped up with better time management, stronger self-advocacy or learned how to cook. These are the wins that build confidence and maturity, and they deserve recognition just as much as academic scores.

For families of students with IEPs, this time of year can bring both pride and questions. You may be reviewing progress reports and wondering how your child did on their goals. While some IEP goals may be fully met, others might still be in progress, and that’s okay. IEPs are living documents meant to grow with your child. Progress on goals, even if it’s not complete, often reflects significant growth: increased independence, improved focus, or stronger communication skills. When you look at the progress, try to see the full picture of effort, support, and resilience. Celebrate what your child has accomplished—and know that every step forward, no matter how small, is a step toward greater success next year.

Tell Students How Much They Have Accomplished

In my classroom, I make it a point to recognize progress out loud. I say things like, “I know that was hard for you. I love how you persevered through it.” I invite you to do the same at home.

Ultimately, education is a marathon, not a sprint. By shifting our focus from the idea of perfection to the tangible reality of progress, we empower our children and uplift ourselves. Let’s choose to see the beauty in each small victory, for it is in these moments that we truly see the strength, resilience, and spirit of our children.

Education is about celebrating the little things as we climb the mountain to graduation. Celebrate every tiny victory. Those things matter.

As the year comes to a close, from learning to walk up or down the stairs to taking the first steps to learning to read or making it to all your classes to graduate–those little things matter. What can you help your child celebrate?

Helping Kids with ADHD Focus: Classroom and Home Strategies

As a special education teacher, I’m frequently asked to observe students who appear to be distracted. As teachers, we can’t diagnose but we can find ways to support students who struggle in the classroom, regardless if it’s ADHD.

Today’s classrooms are not what many think, learning is hard and standards must be met, so students spend more time sitting than moving around. Students’ minds move fast, their energy levels fluctuate, and traditional learning environments don’t always meet their needs. Parents often ask, “How can I help my child focus better?”

Understanding ADHD in the Classroom

Children with ADHD often experience:

• Difficulty maintaining attention (especially on non-preferred tasks)
• Impulsivity (blurting out answers, interrupting, acting before thinking)
• Hyperactivity (constant movement, fidgeting, trouble staying seated)
• Executive functioning struggles (organizing materials, following multi-step directions, remembering assignments)

It is important to note that the term “ADD” changed to “Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder” (ADHD) in 2013 with the release of the DSM-52. The official change in terminology occurred with the publication of the DSM-IV in 1994.

What can teachers do within their classrooms?

1. Provide Movement Breaks

Sitting still for long periods is difficult for students with ADHD. Movement can help them focus.

• Allow short brain breaks (e.g., stretching, jumping jacks) between activities.
• Use alternative seating options like standing desks, wobble stools, or yoga balls.
• Let students move while they learn, such as walking while reading or using hand motions for new concepts.

2. Offer Flexible Seating and Workspaces

Some students focus better in quiet spaces, while others do better with background noise.

What Teachers Can Do:

• Create a variety of seating options—quiet corners, floor cushions, or desks with dividers.
• Allow students to choose where they work best for certain tasks.
• Use noise-canceling headphones for students who are easily distracted by sound.

3. Break Down Tasks into Small Steps

Many students with ADHD struggle with multi-step directions.

What Teachers Can Do:

• Give one instruction at a time instead of a long list.
• Use visual checklists to help students stay on track.
• Offer frequent feedback to keep them engaged and motivated.

4. Use Visual and Hands-On Learning Tools

What Teachers Can Do:

• Use graphic organizers to help with writing and reading comprehension.
• Incorporate hands-on activities (e.g., manipulatives in math, science experiments, or interactive notebooks).
• Use color-coding to help with organization (e.g., different colors for subjects or materials).

5. Build Predictable Routines

Changes in routine can be difficult for students with ADHD.

What Teachers Can Do:

• Establish clear daily schedules with visual schedules or timers.
• Give transition warnings before switching activities.
• Maintain consistent classroom rules and expectations.

6. Provide Positive Reinforcement

Students with ADHD often receive negative feedback for their behavior, which can lower self-esteem.

What Teachers Can Do:

• Use praise and rewards for effort, not just accuracy.
• Create a positive behavior system (e.g., sticker charts, token rewards).
• Focus on strengths, such as creativity, problem-solving, and enthusiasm.

7. Allow for Fidget Tools

Fidgeting is a way students with ADHD self-regulate and stay engaged.

What Teachers Can Do:

• Provide fidget tools like stress balls, putty, or small hand-held items.
• Allow doodling or note-taking during lessons to help with focus.
• Set clear rules for using fidgets appropriately (e.g., not distracting others).

What can parents do?

1. Establish a Structured Homework Routine

Homework can feel overwhelming for kids with ADHD, but structure helps.

Tips for Parents:

• Set up a consistent workspace that is quiet and free from distractions.
• Use a visual schedule to outline tasks and break them into small steps.
• Incorporate movement breaks (e.g., 5 minutes of jumping or stretching between assignments).

2. Use Timers and Alarms

Students with ADHD often lose track of time, so timers help them stay on task.

Tips for Parents:

• Use a visual timer (like a Time Timer) to show how much time is left for a task.
• Set a “beat the timer” challenge for short tasks to make it more engaging.
• Try the Pomodoro technique (25-minute work periods followed by 5-minute breaks).

3. Reduce Clutter and Improve Organization

Disorganization makes focusing even harder for students with ADHD.

Tips for Parents:

• Use color-coded folders for different subjects.
• Create a designated homework station with necessary supplies.
• Help your child clean their backpack weekly to prevent lost assignments.

4. Encourage Physical Activity

Exercise helps regulate dopamine levels, improving focus and impulse control.

Tips for Parents:

• Let your child run or play outside before starting homework.
• Consider sports, martial arts, or activities like yoga that improve focus.
• Use active learning strategies (e.g., bouncing a ball while spelling words).

5. Implement a Reward System

Positive reinforcement can help kids stay motivated.

Tips for Parents:

• Use a simple point system (e.g., earning stars for completed tasks).
• Allow your child to “cash in” points for small rewards (e.g., extra screen time, a special outing).
• Praise effort over results to build confidence.

6. Teach Self-Regulation Strategies

Kids with ADHD benefit from learning how to manage their emotions and energy levels.

Tips for Parents:

• Teach deep breathing and mindfulness exercises.
• Use calm-down corners with sensory tools like weighted blankets or stress balls.
• Help them identify what strategies work best for them (e.g., chewing gum, listening to music).

7. Work with the School

Communication between home and school is key to helping students with ADHD succeed.

Tips for Parents:

• Regularly check in with teachers about what’s working and what’s not.
• Advocate for an IEP or 504 Plan if your child needs accommodations.
• Keep track of patterns and triggers that may be impacting your child’s focus.

Kids with ADHD are not lazy, unmotivated, or “bad” students. They simply need the right strategies and support to reach their potential. By making small adjustments—both in the classroom and at home—we can help them develop focus, confidence, and a love for learning.

 

Why Does My Child Need Assessments?

Springtime on any school campus brings a schedule jam-packed with activities, events, celebrations, and, everyone’s favorite, standardized testing. Right at the time when students can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel, they are hit from left and right with test after test, and assessment after assessment. Some forms of standardized testing start early, even in Kindergarten or first grade. My daughter is only in first grade, and at our last parent-teacher conference, we were shown almost 2 years worth of diagnostic and assessment data about her performance.

What Are Your Educational Desires for Your Child?

As a parent, I was torn. I want my daughter to love school. I want her to enjoy reading, writing, and learning. I want her to engage in play with her classmates, and learn the arts, music, and technology. Do I want her to take standardized assessments? Do I really care about those tests in comparison to the other educational desires I have for my child? I found myself sitting across from her teacher at the kidney table, in a chair that was way too small for me, wondering how much emphasis I should put on my daughter’s diagnostic results. The assessment I was being shown was her iReady diagnostic from January. This assessment measures growth by assigning each student an expected growth score based on their first assessment for the year. A lot of analysis goes into determining what this growth score is, but basically they show teachers, students, and parents where a child “should be” by the end of the school year.

How Does My Child Respond to Daily Learning?

I asked my daughter’s teacher if he felt she was trying her best. He said that she is very engaged, tries on all of her work, and turns everything in. She is very kind and helpful, and loves to play with the other kids. At times, she gets distracted or tries to rush through her work to get to the art activity. I decided, with my legs cramping under the tiny table, that I would focus on the good, have a discussion on how she could continue to improve, and tell her how proud I am to be her daddy; and I would not put much emphasis on her standardized test.

What Types of Tests Must My Student Complete?

Students in some grade levels will take a staggering number of tests. In California public schools, students may be taking the ELPAC (an English language proficiency assessment), the CAASPP (a standardized test in reading/ELA and math), the CAST (statewide science assessment), school-based benchmark diagnostics, performance tasks, SATs, ACTs, final exams, and whatever other end-of-year projects and tests teachers need to assign to determine mastery levels and grades. It can all be overwhelming and anxiety-inducing for everyone involved: teachers, administrators, parents, and especially students.

How Can I Support My Child?

Take time to talk with your child about their upcoming assessments. Make sure they know that you expect them to try their best, but that you are proud of them no matter what the outcome. Yes, these assessments are important for students and schools, but they absolutely do not determine the value a child brings to the table. Every child has a unique set of skills, talents, and abilities, many of which cannot be measured by these standardized assessments. Your child needs to know that you see their value and you love them for just who they are.  Ironically, when we take the pressure off and make sure kids know they are loved, they will do better on their tests. With the knowledge of your love and support, they will be able to walk into their tests feeling confident and supported. That is what your child needs from you in this era of assessment.

Strategies to Help Your Child Love School Again (Part 2)

My previous blog post on Why Your Child Hates School explains reasons for a student’s frustrations with school and how parents can support their struggling child. Here are solutions to Help Your Child Love School Again:

1. Advocate for Your Child

Your child needs you to be their voice, especially when they feel unheard or misunderstood. Work closely with teachers, counselors, and administrators to ensure they receive the support they need.

• Request meetings if you notice ongoing struggles.
• Ask about support services such as speech therapy, occupational therapy, or counseling.
• Work with the school to develop an IEP or 504 Plan if your child qualifies for accommodations.

2. Focus on Strengths and Interests

Every child has strengths and interests that can help them reconnect with learning.

• Find ways to incorporate their passions into their education.
• Encourage them to join clubs, extracurricular activities, or special programs that align with their interests.
• Praise effort and progress rather than just grades.

3. Create a Safe Space at Home

Home should be a place of comfort and safety where your child can decompress.

• Provide opportunities for downtime and relaxation after school.
• Encourage open conversations where your child feels safe sharing their feelings.
• Validate their emotions—“I hear that school is tough for you right now. Let’s work together to make it better.”

4. Teach Self-Advocacy Skills

Empower your child to express their needs and seek support when necessary.

• Teach them how to ask for help from a teacher.
• Encourage them to recognize what strategies work best for them (e.g., using fidgets, taking breaks).
• Help them practice self-regulation and coping skills.

5. Normalize Differences and Challenges

Whether your child is neurotypical or neurodivergent, they need to know that struggles with school do not define them.

• Teach them that everyone has strengths and challenges.
• Encourage a growth mindset—challenges help us grow and learn.
• Remind them that their worth is not tied to grades or performance.

Final Thoughts: Turning Struggle into Success

If your child hates school, it’s important to listen, validate, and take action. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but by identifying the root cause and implementing targeted strategies, you can help your child feel more confident, supported, and engaged in their education.

Remember, school should not be a place of dread—it should be a place of discovery. With the right support, advocacy, and encouragement, your child can rediscover their love for learning.

If you have concerns about your child’s school experience, reach out to their teachers, special education team, or school counselors. You are not alone in this journey, and together, we can make school a place where all children feel seen, heard, and valued.

 

Elementary School Homework to Support All Learners

As a special education teacher, I often have conversations with parents about homework. Parents want to know: Is homework truly beneficial? Should their child be spending time on assignments after school, or would they be better off focusing on other activities? The answer depends. The appropriateness of homework depends on the individual student, their learning needs, and the way the assignments are structured.

The Case for Homework

Homework, when assigned thoughtfully, should review previously taught classroom material and build important life skills. Here are some of the benefits:

• Enhances Academic Achievement – Research suggests that students who complete homework tend to perform better on standardized tests and classroom assessments. While too much homework may not be beneficial, small amounts of meaningful assignments can help solidify learning.
• Promotes Time Management and Responsibility – Homework teaches students how to manage their time, complete tasks independently, and develop study habits that will serve them well in later grades.
• Facilitates Parental Involvement – Assignments give parents insight into what their child is learning and provide opportunities to engage in their education in a supportive way.
• Reinforces Classroom Learning – Repetition and practice can help young learners build independence of new concepts, like math and reading, where skills build upon one another.

The Challenges of Homework

Despite its benefits, homework is not always appropriate for every student. Here are some common concerns:

• Increases Stress and Burnout – For many young children, particularly those with learning disabilities, homework can be frustrating and overwhelming. Studies have shown that too much homework can lead to stress, anxiety, and a negative attitude toward learning.
• Takes Time Away from Family and Extracurricular Activities – After a full day of learning, children need time to relax, play, and spend quality time with their families.
• Does Not Always Improve Academic Success – Research indicates that for elementary-aged students, the impact of homework on academic achievement is minimal. The key is ensuring that assignments are meaningful rather than just busy work.
• Creates Inequities – Not all students have access to the same resources at home. Some may lack a quiet space to work, parental support, or access to technology, making homework completion more challenging.

Supporting Your Child with Homework

If your child is struggling with homework, there are several ways you can support them and make the process more manageable:

• Create a Homework Routine – Set a regular time and place for homework that minimizes distractions. Being consistent reduces stress.
• Break It Into Chunks – If assignments feel too long, break them into smaller, manageable parts with short breaks in between.
• Encourage Effort, Not Perfection – Praise your child for their hard work and persistence rather than focusing on getting every answer right.
• Communicate with Teachers – If your child is struggling, talk to their teacher. Many teachers are willing to adjust assignments, provide extra support, or suggest alternative ways to reinforce learning at home.

Advocating for Children with Disabilities

For parents of children with learning disabilities or other challenges, homework can be particularly difficult. Here’s how you can advocate for your child:

• Request Accommodations – If your child has an IEP or 504 Plan, discuss whether homework accommodations are needed. This might include extended time, modified assignments, or alternative ways to demonstrate learning.
• Use Assistive Technology – Tools like speech-to-text software, audiobooks, or graphic organizers can make homework more accessible.
• Help Develop Organizational Strategies – Work with your child on using planners, checklists, or timers to help them stay on track.
• Encourage Self-Advocacy – Teach your child to communicate their needs and ask for help when needed.

Policies

My elementary school has a written policy for homework. It serves as a guide for parents but also teachers. Ask your child’s teacher about the school or district homework policy.

As a learning community, my school believes homework is important because it provides students with independent practice and supplemental learning opportunities. It also provides opportunities for parent-school partnerships.

As a split campus (primary and secondary), teachers either assess work weekly or daily.  The important thing is that homework can look like different things from unfinished work. In addition to specific assignments, pieces of a project, or something that extends learning from a unit, homework must provide clear and specific directions as to what students need to do.

Everyone has nightly reading homework. Assignments include a good chunk of reading that students must complete nightly. We encourage parents to keep an eye on how much time their child is spending on homework. If their child is struggling too much, parents should reach out to their child’s classroom teacher.

Finding a Balance

Ultimately, homework should support learning without causing too much stress or frustration. Teachers and parents should work together to ensure that assignments are meaningful, accessible, and tailored to individual student needs. If homework becomes a nightly battle, it may be time to rethink the approach. Homework should always mirror what is being taught in the classroom and not waste students’ time.

Homework in elementary school is most effective when it strikes the right balance—reinforcing classroom learning while respecting a child’s need for rest, play, and family time. When assigned, it can build independence, responsibility, and academic skills. Too much or inappropriate homework can lead to frustration and disengagement. The goal should be to create a homework experience that is purposeful, manageable, and supportive of all learners, particularly those with diverse needs.