Why Your Child Hates School (Part 1)

As a special education teacher, I’ve worked with students across the spectrum—both neurotypical and neurodivergent—who struggle with school. I see the frustration on their faces, the reluctance in their steps, and the exhaustion in their voices when they tell their parents, “I hate school.”

If your child has ever said these words, you’re not alone. Many parents hear this, and their immediate reaction is concern, frustration, or helplessness. Why does your child feel this way? Is it something specific, or is it just a phase? And most importantly—what can you do about it?

Why Kids Hate School: The Common Reasons

1. It’s Too Hard (or Too Easy)

For many students, schoolwork is either too challenging or not challenging enough.

• A child who struggles academically may feel frustrated and defeated, dreading school because it reminds them of their difficulties.
• A child who finds the work too easy may feel bored and disengaged, leading to a lack of motivation and even behavior issues.

For Neurodivergent Students: Many neurodivergent students, especially those with learning disabilities, ADHD, or autism, may struggle with processing speed, working memory, or attention, making learning feel overwhelming. Others, particularly gifted students, may feel unchallenged and unmotivated.

What Parents Can Do:

• If your child finds school too difficult, work with their teacher to explore accommodations, interventions, or additional support. A 504 Plan or IEP (Individualized Education Plan) may be necessary.
• If your child is bored, speak with the school about enrichment opportunities, acceleration, or more challenging assignments.
• Provide opportunities at home for problem-solving, creativity, and hands-on learning to keep their mind engaged.

2. Social Struggles and Peer Relationships

Friendships and social dynamics play a huge role in a child’s experience at school. If your child is struggling socially, school can feel like an emotionally exhausting place.

• They may feel lonely or left out.
• They may experience bullying or exclusion.
• They may have trouble understanding social cues or forming friendships.

For Neurodivergent Students: Many neurodivergent children struggle with social communication and may find it difficult to navigate friendships. Sensory sensitivities, misunderstandings, or rigid thinking patterns can also make social interactions stressful.

What Parents Can Do:

• Encourage social skills practice through role-playing, books, or structured social activities.
• Reach out to teachers or school counselors for support in fostering positive peer interactions.
• Connect your child with clubs, hobbies, or activities where they can meet like-minded peers.

3. Sensory Overload and Anxiety

For some children, especially those with sensory processing differences or anxiety, the school environment itself can be overwhelming.

• Bright lights, loud noises, crowded hallways, and strong smells can make school an overstimulating place.
• Unstructured times like recess, lunch, and transitions can be particularly challenging.
• Anxiety about grades, expectations, or social interactions can make school feel unsafe.

For Neurodivergent Students: Sensory sensitivities are common among autistic students, students with ADHD, and those with sensory processing disorder. A child may become dysregulated or shut down due to overwhelming stimuli.

What Parents Can Do:

• Work with the school to implement sensory-friendly strategies such as noise-canceling headphones, fidget tools, or a quiet space for breaks.
• Teach self-regulation strategies like deep breathing, grounding techniques, or movement breaks.
• Talk with the teacher about creating a predictable routine to reduce anxiety.

4. Lack of Connection to Teachers or School Staff

Children need to feel connected to at least one caring adult at school. If they feel unseen, misunderstood, or unsupported, school can become a place of disconnection rather than belonging.

For Neurodivergent Students: Some neurodivergent students struggle with feeling misunderstood by their teachers. They may need alternative communication methods or additional patience from staff.

What Parents Can Do:

• Communicate with teachers about your child’s needs, interests, and strengths to build a positive relationship.
• Encourage your child to find a trusted adult at school, whether it’s a teacher, counselor, or support staff member.
• If possible, request a mentor or check-in system to provide additional emotional support.

5. Homework Battles and Academic Pressure

Many children feel overwhelmed by the amount of homework or pressure to perform well in school. This can create stress and lead to avoidance behaviors.

For Neurodivergent Students: Homework can be especially difficult for students with executive functioning challenges, making it hard to initiate, organize, or complete tasks independently.

What Parents Can Do:

• Set up a consistent, distraction-free homework routine with built-in breaks.
• Focus on effort rather than perfection, and advocate for modified assignments if needed.
• Teach executive functioning strategies such as checklists, timers, and visual schedules.

Strategies to Help Your Child Love School Again

Now that we’ve explored why school may be a struggle, let’s focus on solutions.

1. Advocate for Your Child

Your child needs you to be their voice, especially when they feel unheard or misunderstood. Work closely with teachers, counselors, and administrators to ensure they receive the support they need.

• Request meetings if you notice ongoing struggles.
• Ask about support services such as speech therapy, occupational therapy, or counseling.
• Work with the school to develop an IEP or 504 Plan if your child qualifies for accommodations.

2. Focus on Strengths and Interests

Every child has strengths and interests that can help them reconnect with learning.

• Find ways to incorporate their passions into their education.
• Encourage them to join clubs, extracurricular activities, or special programs that align with their interests.
• Praise effort and progress rather than just grades.

3. Create a Safe Space at Home

Home should be a place of comfort and safety where your child can decompress.

• Provide opportunities for downtime and relaxation after school.
• Encourage open conversations where your child feels safe sharing their feelings.
• Validate their emotions—“I hear that school is tough for you right now. Let’s work together to make it better.”

4. Teach Self-Advocacy Skills

Empower your child to express their needs and seek support when necessary.

• Teach them how to ask for help from a teacher.
• Encourage them to recognize what strategies work best for them (e.g., using fidgets, taking breaks).
• Help them practice self-regulation and coping skills.

5. Normalize Differences and Challenges

Whether your child is neurotypical or neurodivergent, they need to know that struggles with school do not define them.

• Teach them that everyone has strengths and challenges.
• Encourage a growth mindset—challenges help us grow and learn.
• Remind them that their worth is not tied to grades or performance.

Final Thoughts: Turning Struggle into Success

If your child hates school, it’s important to listen, validate, and take action. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but by identifying the root cause and implementing targeted strategies, you can help your child feel more confident, supported, and engaged in their education.

Remember, school should not be a place of dread—it should be a place of discovery. With the right support, advocacy, and encouragement, your child can rediscover their love for learning.

If you have concerns about your child’s school experience, reach out to their teachers, special education team, or school counselors. You are not alone in this journey, and together, we can make school a place where all children feel seen, heard, and valued.

My next blog post will focus on strategies to help your child love school again.

 

Homework Can Be a Game Changer!

After 40 years of teaching, parenting, and now grandparenting, I have helped hundreds of kids and supported countless parents with homework challenges. Some students love to get their homework done and demand instant help from parents regardless of the family’s schedule. Others race through their assignments and will write down any answer just to get rid of the assignment so they can pursue fun activities. And then there are the anxious students who are overwhelmed with many assignments and need lots of encouragement and help. The problem is most parents are not equipped to help their children adequately at home because of time, knowledge, or having to deal with difficult panic behaviors with their children. So, what can a parent do to make this task more enjoyable for all?

Structure Homework Time

Parents need to create a structured time when homework can be completed depending on each child’s needs. For example, most kids need a snack before tackling homework. Many kids need some down time to relax and decompress. Some kids attend aftercare or participate in demanding afterschool activities. They are exhausted by the time they arrive home at night. Many students prefer doing their homework before dinner, others prefer after dinner homework time, and some do best in the early morning. In response to these challenges, many teachers send home weekly or monthly homework packets to allow flexibility for families to focus on homework activities on specific days of the week.

Support Individualized Learning Needs

Parents can work with their child’s teacher to identify a win-win strategy for highly anxious students. The teacher can then send home an individualized homework packet that reinforces the student’s learning level of success and limits overwhelming failure. Some teachers create a more challenging packet for students who wish to grow faster in their learning or a classroom packet that meets the needs of most students.

Encourage Student Success

When a very frustrated student feels that they are failing at homework, then that attitude of failure is reinforced in the classroom. Parents must be honest with the teacher in what they can or cannot do to support their challenged child’s learning. If they lack the patience or knowledge in how to help their child learn, they should ask the teacher for resource help at the school. Most schools have pull out remedial learning centers for students who are challenged in math or reading. These students do not qualify for special education services but need added support to build their learning stamina.

Make Learning Fun

Some of our grandkids’ homework assignments include games. These are fun when we model how to solve a math problem or word puzzle. Then we work together to succeed in each assignment. It is time consuming. At the end of the activity, our goal is for each grandkid to express success and gratitude for what they have learned. The payoff is when they have the skill to teach another friend at school or online about their newly acquired learning skill in math or reading.

Create Homework Learning Sessions

When my kids were in elementary school, I worked with other parents to create homework sessions at each home. One friend’s mom was great with math. She would create a weekly afterschool playdate at her home to reinforce basic math concepts. My strength was reading, writing, and creating reports. I continue to teach these skills in classrooms and support teachers with fun activities for learning. In January we are writing reports on snow or snow crystals and creating snow crystal drawings or snowflake cutouts. Another friend’s strength is helping the students with advanced math concepts or science projects.

Make Learning Fun

When there is no homework, we reinforce learning by creating books, cards, art projects, playing games, and creating match activities using a deck of playing cards. Each night we read to our grandkids as we discuss new ideas and build vocabulary. We research everything whenever a grandkid or student wants to learn more about an activity. My cell phone is my dictionary and also an encyclopedia. Through an artificial intelligence (AI) feature on my cell phone, I can read a general answer to a question and then research the reference articles listed under the summary for a more detailed explanation.

May you treasure this time in your children’s lives, when you can help them develop connected passions and enthusiasm to learn. Our passionate curiosity for learning is contagious. Our children learn best when we model healthy strategies for problem solving and exploring new topics.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Parents Help Each Child Succeed in School

As a special education teacher, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that no two children learn the same way. Every student brings their unique strengths, needs, and learning styles into the classroom, so a one-size-fits-all approach to teaching just doesn’t work. This is where differentiated instruction comes in. Differentiated instruction allows teachers to meet students where they are, provide the support they need, and help them progress at a pace and in a way that works best for them.

Understanding the role of differentiated instruction in your child’s education can be incredibly helpful. Not only does it help you understand how your child’s teacher tailors instruction to meet their needs, but it also offers insight into how you can support your child’s learning at home.

What is Differentiated Instruction?

Differentiated instruction is a teaching method that adapts the content, process, and products of learning to meet the varying needs of students. It is grounded in the understanding that students come to the classroom with different backgrounds, learning styles, interests, and readiness levels. Rather than teaching every student in the same way, I adjust my lessons to ensure that all students can access the material and demonstrate their understanding in a way that suits them.

Educational researcher Carol Ann Tomlinson, a leader in differentiated instruction, emphasizes the importance of considering students’ differences in readiness, interests, and learning profiles when planning instruction. The goal is to ensure that all students are challenged appropriately without feeling overwhelmed or under-stimulated.

Why Differentiated Instruction Matters

1. Every Child is Unique

In my classroom, I see students at different points in their learning journey. Some may grasp new concepts quickly, while others need additional support or more time to master a skill. For example, during a reading lesson, I might have a student who is just learning to read sitting next to a child who is ready for chapter books. If I were to give both students the same assignment, one might feel frustrated and give up, while the other would be bored. Differentiated instruction allows me to tailor the learning experience so that each child is challenged at their level without feeling overwhelmed.

2. Engagement is Key to Learning

Another reason why differentiated instruction is so important is that it keeps students engaged in their learning. When students are given tasks that match their interests and abilities, they are more likely to stay motivated and invested in their education. Engagement is especially critical for students who may struggle with certain subjects, as it helps prevent them from becoming disengaged or frustrated.

In my classroom, I often give students choices in how they demonstrate their understanding. For example in math, if we are learning about areas and perimeters, some students might design a zoo or bedroom, while others might prefer solving math equations.

By offering options, I ensure that students can approach the material in a way that excites them and plays to their strengths. Self-determination theory, developed by psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, supports this approach, stating that students are more engaged when they feel a sense of autonomy in their learning.

3. Differentiation Promotes Equity

Equity in education means ensuring that every student has the opportunity to succeed. Differentiated instruction is key to achieving this. It’s not about giving every child the same resources or assignments but about meeting their individual needs and providing the right level of support. In math, for example, some students might benefit from manipulatives to visualize problems, while others are ready for more abstract reasoning. This flexibility ensures that all students can access the curriculum and make progress.

In secondary classrooms, this principle is just as important. As students prepare for life beyond school, differentiated instruction helps ensure that every student is challenged appropriately and has the skills they need to succeed in their life and career goals.

How Differentiated Instruction Looks in My Classroom

Differentiated instruction can take many forms depending on the subject matter and students’ needs. Here’s a look at how I apply it in different areas of my classroom:

1. Differentiating Content: I adjust what students learn based on their current understanding. In reading, for instance, some students may read leveled books, while others tackle more complex texts. The goal is for each student to be challenged but not overwhelmed.
2. Differentiating Process: This involves varying the ways students engage with the material. For example, during a math lesson, one group might work on hands-on activities, another might use digital tools, and some might receive direct instruction from me. These different approaches ensure that all students are making sense of the content in a way that works best for them.
3. Differentiating Product: Students demonstrate their learning in different ways. After a unit on historical events, one student might create a timeline, another might write an essay, and a third might develop a creative project like a video. By offering choices, I ensure that students can showcase their strengths and interests.
4. Differentiating the Learning Environment: The classroom setup also plays a role. I offer flexible seating options, including desks, standing tables, and floor spaces, so students can work in an environment that suits their learning style. Some students may need quiet spaces to focus, while others thrive in collaborative group settings.

How Parents Can Support Differentiation at Home

Parents play a crucial role in supporting differentiated instruction outside of the classroom. Here are a few ways you can help:

1. Embrace Your Child’s Learning Style

Every child learns differently. Some kids are hands-on learners, while others are more visual or auditory. Pay attention to how your child best absorbs information, and provide opportunities for them to learn in ways that resonate with them. For instance, if your child is a kinesthetic learner, you might use household items for hands-on math activities, like using coins to practice addition and subtraction.

2. Encourage Choice and Autonomy

Just as differentiated instruction in the classroom gives students choices, you can support this at home by giving your child options in how they complete their homework or explore a new topic. Offering them autonomy helps build their sense of responsibility and keeps them engaged in their learning.

3. Provide Additional Support or Challenge

If your child is struggling with a particular subject, work with their teacher to identify ways to support them at home. This might include additional practice with specific skills, using educational games or apps, or even working with a tutor. On the flip side, if your child is excelling, encourage them to delve deeper into subjects they are passionate about through extra reading, projects, or activities that go beyond what is covered in school.

4. Communicate with the Teacher

Differentiated instruction is most effective when there is open communication between home and school. If you have concerns about your child’s progress or if you notice they need more support or challenge, don’t hesitate to reach out to their teacher. Working together ensures that your child is getting the most out of their learning experience.

Differentiated instruction is at the heart of effective teaching. It allows teachers to meet students where they are, keep them engaged, and promote equity in the classroom. As parents, your involvement in supporting differentiation at home can make a significant difference in your child’s academic success. By embracing your child’s learning style, encouraging choice, providing support or challenge when needed, and maintaining open communication with their teacher, you help create a learning environment where your child can thrive both at school and at home.

 

Mud Play Learning for Kids

Kids of all ages love mud! Our class read the Magnificent Magical Mud story posted on this blog site. Then we planted flowers in flower pots as gifts for seniors and homeless residents. Students learned how to make mud while watering the plants in flower pots. We studied different types of potting soil to determine how much water it took to make mud in the flower pot. We also studied the ingredients of various mud solutions. Some mud samples had a sandy composition while others contained small rocks. The students were fully engaged while playing with their magnificent mucky mud. They were excited about learning. They were also curious and eager to learn about the composition and the many uses of mud throughout the ages.

Mud Observations While Planting a Flower

As we planted the flowers in containers, we first studied the composition of the mud samples we were using to plant each flower.  Then students counted how many ounces of water they used to make mud in their flower containers. Students could choose to use either 3, 6, 9, or 12 ounces of water to create mud in a container Then they used their hands and spoons to mix the mud in their flower pots. Finally, they recorded their mud observations on a reflective worksheet that included these questions:

• What was the composition of the type of mud you used?
• How many ounces of water did you add to make a mud mixture?
• What did your mud look and feel like when planting the flower?
• What else do you want to learn about mud when researching this topic online to complete a written or typed report?

More Mud Topics Students Wanted to Research

The following are some interesting topics the second-grade students are exploring to write their reports:

• What is mud?
• How are different types of mud made?
• How do you make mud bricks?
• How can you build an adobe house?
• What animals live in mud houses?
• What sports use mud?
• Is mud good for your health?
• Can mud hurt you?

Learning to Write Research Reports

The students are using their computers to research these topics. I also provided them with a bibliography with online websites they can use to research these and other mud topics. As the students learn to research fact-based articles online, I will encourage them to take notes. Then they will type or print a final draft of their report. Once students complete their reports, they will share their newly gained knowledge with a short verbal presentation to the entire class.

In the comments section below, share engaging topics you have used with students or your children to inspire them to research and learn more about fact-based research.

 

 

What is Response to Intervention Education?

If you look inside any general education classroom, chances are good that you’d see different students struggling for different reasons. It can be hard for a teacher to tell right away which students are struggling or why. Simply put, Response to Intervention (RTI) is a framework for implementing proactive data-driven decision-making. It provides teachers with better, more timely information about students to improve student learning and performance.

An Effective Prevention Model

RTI is not just a model for special education classrooms. It is increasingly an early identification and prevention model that helps schools and districts nationwide broaden the range of interventions available in general education. RTI also ensures that the curriculum truly meets the needs of all students. With the appropriate processes in place, RTI can help schools identify students at risk for poor learning outcomes. It monitors their progress and provides evidence‐based interventions early on – when students first exhibit signs of learning problems. The nature and intensity of such interventions can be continually adjusted depending on each student’s responsiveness.

Teachers Provide the Interventions

Teachers can provide targeted teaching — called interventions — to help struggling students catch up. A big part of the RTI process involves closely monitoring student progress—that way the school can see which students need more academic support. RTI isn’t a specific program or type of teaching. It’s a proactive approach. RTI measures students’ skills and uses this data to decide which interventions to use.

Response to Intervention Components

Below are key components of RTI.

• Early Identification of Learning Issues: RTI helps in the early identification of students who may be facing academic challenges. By monitoring students’ progress regularly, educators can identify difficulties and intervene promptly, preventing further academic setbacks.
• Individualized Support: RTI emphasizes providing individualized support based on a student’s specific needs. This tailored approach allows educators to address the unique learning styles and requirements of each child, helping them progress at their own pace.
• Prevention of Academic Failure: The primary goal of RTI is to prevent academic failure. By intervening early and providing targeted support, educators can help students catch up to their peers, reducing the likelihood of long-term academic struggles.
• Data-Driven Decision Making: RTI relies on data and ongoing assessment to guide instructional decisions. This data-driven approach allows educators to make informed choices about the most effective interventions for each student, ensuring that efforts are targeted and efficient.
• Collaboration between Teachers and Parents: RTI promotes collaboration between teachers and parents. Parents are integral members of the intervention team and are kept informed about their child’s progress, the interventions being used, and how they can support their child at home.
• Inclusive Education: RTI fosters an inclusive education environment by recognizing and addressing diverse learning needs. It helps create a supportive atmosphere where all students, regardless of their initial skill levels, have the opportunity to succeed.
• Reducing Special Education Referrals: RTI can help reduce the number of unnecessary referrals to special education by providing early and targeted interventions. This ensures that students receive appropriate support within the general education setting, reducing the need for more restrictive environments.

Student Achievement Data Produces Results!

In many states, RTI or intervention data is needed as part of the body of evidence to qualify for special education services as a student with a learning disability. Many states also have READ plans to support students reading below grade level. RTI ensures teachers are completing interventions and using the data to close reading gaps. If you don’t know if your child is receiving classroom-based interventions, ask your teacher. The teacher can also provide you with your child’s supporting achievement data.