Is Your Child Disruptive at School?

Each day, we drop our kids off at school or at the bus stop hoping they have a great day. No parent wants anything bad to happen to their children or secretly hopes that their child is not causing trouble all day. No parent teaches their child to be disruptive, to break school rules, or to defy authority “just because.” But as any teacher or school employee will tell you, there are kids in our classes where it sometimes feels like this is the case. We have students who cause disruptions from the moment they walk through the front doors. For some students, even the most simple and obvious correction of behavior erupts into defiance or argument.  As a parent, when the school communicates about concerns, how do you respond?

How to Respond to School Staff’s Concerns

Of course no one wants to receive a call about their child’s misbehavior. No parent wants to have a conference in which they find out that their child is failing or behind academically. This type of news is always difficult to hear. How parents respond will determine whether students go down a path of entitlement or a path of learning, growth, and improvement. As parents, we can choose to bulldoze obstacles, ignore them, or help our children navigate the challenge they are currently facing head on. The latter will be a path that will lead them to greater success down the road.

Options for Change

The protective instinct as a parent is strong. Our intuition tells us that we need to remove every obstacle and every inkling of potential friction from our kids’ lives. We want them to live a life of safety, comfort, and opportunity. Unfortunately, what we have seen in recent years is that the effort to eliminate the challenges our kids face has fostered a society where kids are less and less motivated and equipped to solve problems on their own. When kids encounter obstacles, it is vitally important that parents help children identify the issue clearly. Parents must support kids to manage their emotions while they develop a plan for moving forward.

Holding Our Kids Accountable

Often, the first step in this process is ownership. Kids need to honestly assess the situation and accept their role and responsibility. When the challenge is a low grade or poor student behavior, taking a step of ownership allows students to accept that they are the ones who need to take responsibility to move forward.

Unfortunately, when parents bulldoze or excuse children from the behavior (and especially when they place the blame elsewhere) kids miss out on the opportunity to problem-solve their way past barriers. Kids need parents to hold them accountable and to help them navigate the tricky waters of ownership and responsibility.

Partner with the School

The good news is that school staff is eager to partner with parents to walk with you down this road! Be on the lookout for workshop opportunities and chances for you and your child to get involved at school events. Also, when the school calls to discuss an issue with your child (i.e., grades or behavior) be sure to take a breath, listen, and partner with the school to map a pathway forward!

Teaching Our Kids Character Habits That Last a Lifetime (Part 3)

Our childen excel when we help them learn character habits at home and school. My first two blog posts discussed effective perserverance, leadership, empathy, bravery, and ethical skill development. Below are strategies parents and teachers can use to help childen learn how to become accountable, respectful, provide service to their families and communities.

Accountability: Own Your Choices

Accountability means taking responsibility for your words and actions. Kids who practice this habit learn that mistakes are okay—when we own them and grow from them.

Encourage accountability by:

• Letting natural consequences happen when appropriate
• Helping your child reflect on poor choices without shame
• Using phrases like “What do you need to do to make it right?”

Try this: After a challenging moment, ask, “What would you do differently next time?”

Books to share:

David Gets in Trouble by David Shannon: David learns to take responsibility for his actions. Short and humorous but opens the door for honest conversations.

The Paperboy by Dav Pilkey: A quiet, reflective story about a boy who honors his daily responsibility. Subtle but powerful.

Respect: Treat Others How You Want to Be Treated

Respect is foundational. It means valuing yourself, others, and your environment. It starts with kindness and expands to how we speak, listen, and act.

Build respect by:

• Setting clear expectations around language and behavior
• Demonstrating respect in your own relationships (even when you disagree!)
• Talking about the importance of caring for things—home, school, nature

Try this: Ask, “What’s one way you showed respect today?”

Book to share:

All Are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold: A beautifully illustrated book that celebrates diversity, inclusion, and respect in a school community.

Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon by Patty Lovell: Molly Lou respects herself despite being different—and earns others’ respect by staying true to who she is.

Service: Help Others from the Heart

Service is about giving—not to get something back, but to make the world better. Children who serve become more aware of their role in a community and how they can contribute.

Foster service by:

• Volunteering as a family, even in small ways (like helping a neighbor)
• Encouraging random acts of kindness
• Celebrating efforts that come from the heart, not for a reward

Try this: Create a “kindness jar” and fill it with acts of service your child notices or does each week.

Books to share:

The Lion and the Little Red Bird by Elisa Kleven: A sweet story about kindness and care through quiet actions and gentle observation.

Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Peña: CJ and his grandmother ride the bus through the city, serving others and finding beauty and purpose in unexpected places. A modern classic about service and community.

Growing Good Humans

The habits of character give children a roadmap—not just to succeed, but to lead, care, and thrive. This framework helps families make these habits come to life, day after day.

You don’t have to be perfect to raise children of character. You just need to be intentional. Every bedtime talk, every moment of reflection, and every story you share builds something lasting.

Because in the end, we’re not just helping our kids become good students. We’re helping them become good people.

Focusing on Your Child’s Learning Progress and Not Perfection

“Take pride in how far you’ve come. Have faith in how far you can go. But don’t forget the journey.” by Michael Josephson

We knew the school year would end when the year started, but never realized how fast it would come. It’s hard to stop, step back, and just look at how far we’ve come. The mountains we have climbed or the forever-long valleys that we thought would never end, but we did it.  We all did hard things. We grew.

As a special education teacher, I’ve had the privilege of watching hundreds of students grow academically, socially, emotionally, and personally. Some students leap ahead quickly, others take smaller steps, and a few struggle quietly in the shadows. But one thing I’ve learned is this: progress looks different for every child, and it all matters. Every small victory, no matter how tiny it may seem, deserves to be celebrated at the end of the year or whenever they happen.

As parents, getting caught up in benchmarks, grades, comparisons, or even the long road ahead is easy. We worry if our child is reading at grade level, keeping up in math, or getting along with others. We scroll through social media and see other kids’ achievements and start wondering, “Are we doing enough? Is my child falling even further behind with everything we’re doing?” But I want to remind you: Your child’s journey is their own. And every bit of progress counts.

Why Focusing on Progress Matters

Children are not machines—they don’t develop at the same pace or in the same way. Some kids take off in reading in kindergarten, while others might not find their rhythm until second or third grade. Some struggle with reading or math for years, then suddenly it comes together. The path isn’t linear. It’s full of dips, turns, plateaus, and bursts.

When we celebrate only the big moments—the awards, the perfect test scores, the standout performances—we unintentionally send a message that only perfection is worthy of praise. But when we recognize the small wins—completing a book, staying focused for 10 minutes, asking for help, using kind words—we help our children build confidence and resilience.

Progress is what leads to success. And acknowledging it fuels motivation.

What Small Victories Look Like

Small victories aren’t always flashy. They often happen quietly, in moments you might miss if you aren’t watching closely. Here are just a few examples I’ve seen:

• A student who used to avoid reading time finally picks a book on their own
• A child who struggles with handwriting writes a whole sentence without giving up
• A student with anxiety raises their hand to answer a question in front of the class
• A child who’s been impulsive takes a deep breath and uses a strategy to stay calm
• A third grader remembers their math facts with just a little less prompting

These are real, meaningful steps forward. They’re often the result of hard work, perseverance, and support—both at school and at home. And they’re worth celebrating. And perhaps a very loud cheerleader in your corner, never giving up and always moving the needle forward no matter the time of year.

Shifting the Focus at Home

So, how can you, as a parent, help your child focus on progress rather than perfection? Here are a few ideas that come straight from my experience in the classroom and conversations with other families:

1. Notice the Effort: Instead of asking, “Did you get 100%?” try asking, “What did you learn today?” or “What felt easier than it used to?” Celebrate the effort your child puts into their work, even if the result isn’t perfect. Praise things like persistence, creativity, courage, and problem-solving.
2. “Last Day” Shout-Out: Take a picture of your child holding a sign that celebrates a specific win (“I mastered my multiplication facts!” or “I learned to ask for help when I need it!”).
3. Special Treat or Activity: Let them pick a fun, low-cost way to celebrate: a walk to the park, popsicles after dinner, or staying up 15 minutes later.
4. Create a Victory Journal or Jar: Start a family habit of writing down “wins” in a notebook or dropping notes in a jar. They can be school-related or personal: “I stood up for a friend today.” “I tried broccoli again.” “I spelled ‘because’ right without looking.” Review these wins regularly. They become a tangible reminder of growth.
5. Reframe Comparison: When your child says, “Everyone else is better than me,” gently remind them that every learner is on their own path. You can say, “Let’s talk about how far you’ve come,” and point to specific examples. Try using “then and now” language: “You used to need help to read that page. Now you can do it on your own!”

A Word of Encouragement

If your child is struggling, whether it’s with schoolwork, behavior, or friendships, please know this: their struggles do not define them. They are growing every day in ways that may not show up on a report card. And you, as their parent, are making a difference, just by cheering them on.

You don’t need to wait for perfect moments to celebrate your child. Celebrate when they keep trying. Celebrate when they show kindness. Celebrate when they bounce back from disappointment and when they take those first steps down the stairs on their own. These are the victories that shape character and build lifelong learners.

End of the School Year Growth Reflections

As we wrap up the school year, it’s the perfect time to reflect not only on report card grades but also on the many layers of growth that might not show up in traditional ways. Whether your child is in kindergarten or high school, every grade level presents unique challenges, and every child makes progress in their own time. Maybe your first grader finally mastered those tricky sight words, or your middle schooler became more independent with homework. Maybe your high schooler stepped up with better time management, stronger self-advocacy or learned how to cook. These are the wins that build confidence and maturity, and they deserve recognition just as much as academic scores.

For families of students with IEPs, this time of year can bring both pride and questions. You may be reviewing progress reports and wondering how your child did on their goals. While some IEP goals may be fully met, others might still be in progress, and that’s okay. IEPs are living documents meant to grow with your child. Progress on goals, even if it’s not complete, often reflects significant growth: increased independence, improved focus, or stronger communication skills. When you look at the progress, try to see the full picture of effort, support, and resilience. Celebrate what your child has accomplished—and know that every step forward, no matter how small, is a step toward greater success next year.

Tell Students How Much They Have Accomplished

In my classroom, I make it a point to recognize progress out loud. I say things like, “I know that was hard for you. I love how you persevered through it.” I invite you to do the same at home.

Ultimately, education is a marathon, not a sprint. By shifting our focus from the idea of perfection to the tangible reality of progress, we empower our children and uplift ourselves. Let’s choose to see the beauty in each small victory, for it is in these moments that we truly see the strength, resilience, and spirit of our children.

Education is about celebrating the little things as we climb the mountain to graduation. Celebrate every tiny victory. Those things matter.

As the year comes to a close, from learning to walk up or down the stairs to taking the first steps to learning to read or making it to all your classes to graduate–those little things matter. What can you help your child celebrate?

Strategies to Help Your Child Love School Again (Part 2)

My previous blog post on Why Your Child Hates School explains reasons for a student’s frustrations with school and how parents can support their struggling child. Here are solutions to Help Your Child Love School Again:

1. Advocate for Your Child

Your child needs you to be their voice, especially when they feel unheard or misunderstood. Work closely with teachers, counselors, and administrators to ensure they receive the support they need.

• Request meetings if you notice ongoing struggles.
• Ask about support services such as speech therapy, occupational therapy, or counseling.
• Work with the school to develop an IEP or 504 Plan if your child qualifies for accommodations.

2. Focus on Strengths and Interests

Every child has strengths and interests that can help them reconnect with learning.

• Find ways to incorporate their passions into their education.
• Encourage them to join clubs, extracurricular activities, or special programs that align with their interests.
• Praise effort and progress rather than just grades.

3. Create a Safe Space at Home

Home should be a place of comfort and safety where your child can decompress.

• Provide opportunities for downtime and relaxation after school.
• Encourage open conversations where your child feels safe sharing their feelings.
• Validate their emotions—“I hear that school is tough for you right now. Let’s work together to make it better.”

4. Teach Self-Advocacy Skills

Empower your child to express their needs and seek support when necessary.

• Teach them how to ask for help from a teacher.
• Encourage them to recognize what strategies work best for them (e.g., using fidgets, taking breaks).
• Help them practice self-regulation and coping skills.

5. Normalize Differences and Challenges

Whether your child is neurotypical or neurodivergent, they need to know that struggles with school do not define them.

• Teach them that everyone has strengths and challenges.
• Encourage a growth mindset—challenges help us grow and learn.
• Remind them that their worth is not tied to grades or performance.

Final Thoughts: Turning Struggle into Success

If your child hates school, it’s important to listen, validate, and take action. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but by identifying the root cause and implementing targeted strategies, you can help your child feel more confident, supported, and engaged in their education.

Remember, school should not be a place of dread—it should be a place of discovery. With the right support, advocacy, and encouragement, your child can rediscover their love for learning.

If you have concerns about your child’s school experience, reach out to their teachers, special education team, or school counselors. You are not alone in this journey, and together, we can make school a place where all children feel seen, heard, and valued.

Least Restructive Learning Environments Promote Success

One of the hardest pieces of an IEP to understand is the LRE  or Least Restrictive Environment. It is a fundamental principle in special education. The LRE emphasizes the importance of placing students with disabilities in educational settings that allow for the maximum possible interaction with their non-disabled peers while meeting their unique needs. The primary goal is to provide an inclusive and supportive environment that fosters academic and social development while meeting a child’s individual needs.

Mainstream with Specialized Services

Below are key components included in the LRE.

• Inclusion in General Education: LRE encourages placing students with disabilities in general education classrooms with appropriate support services. This means your child can learn and interact with students without disabilities, promoting a sense of belonging and social integration.
• Individualization of Support: The concept of LRE recognizes that the level of support your child needs may vary. It emphasizes providing individualized services and accommodations to ensure that your child can participate in class activities and receive appropriate educational opportunities.
• Consideration of Specialized Services: While the goal is inclusion in general education, LRE also acknowledges that some students may benefit from specialized services or additional support. These services should be tailored to your child’s specific needs and provided in a way that minimizes segregation from their non-disabled peers.
• Collaboration between Educators and Specialists: Achieving the least restrictive environment often involves collaboration between general education teachers, special education teachers, and other specialists. They work together to create an inclusive and supportive learning environment that meets the diverse needs of all students.
• Regular Monitoring and Adjustments: The placement in the least restrictive environment is not a one-time decision. It involves ongoing assessment and monitoring to ensure that the chosen setting continues to meet your child’s needs. If adjustments are needed, they should be made to promote your child’s success and well-being.

Participate with All Students

In essence, LRE is about striking a balance between providing the necessary support for your child with special needs and fostering their inclusion in the broader educational community. It is a commitment to creating an environment where every child can learn, grow, and interact with their peers in a way that maximizes their potential. I always tell parents and teachers that it’s about what support needs to be in place for the student to make adequate progress in closing gaps.