Focusing on Your Child’s Learning Progress and Not Perfection

“Take pride in how far you’ve come. Have faith in how far you can go. But don’t forget the journey.” by Michael Josephson

We knew the school year would end when the year started, but never realized how fast it would come. It’s hard to stop, step back, and just look at how far we’ve come. The mountains we have climbed or the forever-long valleys that we thought would never end, but we did it.  We all did hard things. We grew.

As a special education teacher, I’ve had the privilege of watching hundreds of students grow academically, socially, emotionally, and personally. Some students leap ahead quickly, others take smaller steps, and a few struggle quietly in the shadows. But one thing I’ve learned is this: progress looks different for every child, and it all matters. Every small victory, no matter how tiny it may seem, deserves to be celebrated at the end of the year or whenever they happen.

As parents, getting caught up in benchmarks, grades, comparisons, or even the long road ahead is easy. We worry if our child is reading at grade level, keeping up in math, or getting along with others. We scroll through social media and see other kids’ achievements and start wondering, “Are we doing enough? Is my child falling even further behind with everything we’re doing?” But I want to remind you: Your child’s journey is their own. And every bit of progress counts.

Why Focusing on Progress Matters

Children are not machines—they don’t develop at the same pace or in the same way. Some kids take off in reading in kindergarten, while others might not find their rhythm until second or third grade. Some struggle with reading or math for years, then suddenly it comes together. The path isn’t linear. It’s full of dips, turns, plateaus, and bursts.

When we celebrate only the big moments—the awards, the perfect test scores, the standout performances—we unintentionally send a message that only perfection is worthy of praise. But when we recognize the small wins—completing a book, staying focused for 10 minutes, asking for help, using kind words—we help our children build confidence and resilience.

Progress is what leads to success. And acknowledging it fuels motivation.

What Small Victories Look Like

Small victories aren’t always flashy. They often happen quietly, in moments you might miss if you aren’t watching closely. Here are just a few examples I’ve seen:

• A student who used to avoid reading time finally picks a book on their own
• A child who struggles with handwriting writes a whole sentence without giving up
• A student with anxiety raises their hand to answer a question in front of the class
• A child who’s been impulsive takes a deep breath and uses a strategy to stay calm
• A third grader remembers their math facts with just a little less prompting

These are real, meaningful steps forward. They’re often the result of hard work, perseverance, and support—both at school and at home. And they’re worth celebrating. And perhaps a very loud cheerleader in your corner, never giving up and always moving the needle forward no matter the time of year.

Shifting the Focus at Home

So, how can you, as a parent, help your child focus on progress rather than perfection? Here are a few ideas that come straight from my experience in the classroom and conversations with other families:

1. Notice the Effort: Instead of asking, “Did you get 100%?” try asking, “What did you learn today?” or “What felt easier than it used to?” Celebrate the effort your child puts into their work, even if the result isn’t perfect. Praise things like persistence, creativity, courage, and problem-solving.
2. “Last Day” Shout-Out: Take a picture of your child holding a sign that celebrates a specific win (“I mastered my multiplication facts!” or “I learned to ask for help when I need it!”).
3. Special Treat or Activity: Let them pick a fun, low-cost way to celebrate: a walk to the park, popsicles after dinner, or staying up 15 minutes later.
4. Create a Victory Journal or Jar: Start a family habit of writing down “wins” in a notebook or dropping notes in a jar. They can be school-related or personal: “I stood up for a friend today.” “I tried broccoli again.” “I spelled ‘because’ right without looking.” Review these wins regularly. They become a tangible reminder of growth.
5. Reframe Comparison: When your child says, “Everyone else is better than me,” gently remind them that every learner is on their own path. You can say, “Let’s talk about how far you’ve come,” and point to specific examples. Try using “then and now” language: “You used to need help to read that page. Now you can do it on your own!”

A Word of Encouragement

If your child is struggling, whether it’s with schoolwork, behavior, or friendships, please know this: their struggles do not define them. They are growing every day in ways that may not show up on a report card. And you, as their parent, are making a difference, just by cheering them on.

You don’t need to wait for perfect moments to celebrate your child. Celebrate when they keep trying. Celebrate when they show kindness. Celebrate when they bounce back from disappointment and when they take those first steps down the stairs on their own. These are the victories that shape character and build lifelong learners.

End of the School Year Growth Reflections

As we wrap up the school year, it’s the perfect time to reflect not only on report card grades but also on the many layers of growth that might not show up in traditional ways. Whether your child is in kindergarten or high school, every grade level presents unique challenges, and every child makes progress in their own time. Maybe your first grader finally mastered those tricky sight words, or your middle schooler became more independent with homework. Maybe your high schooler stepped up with better time management, stronger self-advocacy or learned how to cook. These are the wins that build confidence and maturity, and they deserve recognition just as much as academic scores.

For families of students with IEPs, this time of year can bring both pride and questions. You may be reviewing progress reports and wondering how your child did on their goals. While some IEP goals may be fully met, others might still be in progress, and that’s okay. IEPs are living documents meant to grow with your child. Progress on goals, even if it’s not complete, often reflects significant growth: increased independence, improved focus, or stronger communication skills. When you look at the progress, try to see the full picture of effort, support, and resilience. Celebrate what your child has accomplished—and know that every step forward, no matter how small, is a step toward greater success next year.

Tell Students How Much They Have Accomplished

In my classroom, I make it a point to recognize progress out loud. I say things like, “I know that was hard for you. I love how you persevered through it.” I invite you to do the same at home.

Ultimately, education is a marathon, not a sprint. By shifting our focus from the idea of perfection to the tangible reality of progress, we empower our children and uplift ourselves. Let’s choose to see the beauty in each small victory, for it is in these moments that we truly see the strength, resilience, and spirit of our children.

Education is about celebrating the little things as we climb the mountain to graduation. Celebrate every tiny victory. Those things matter.

As the year comes to a close, from learning to walk up or down the stairs to taking the first steps to learning to read or making it to all your classes to graduate–those little things matter. What can you help your child celebrate?

Strategies to Help Your Child Love School Again (Part 2)

My previous blog post on Why Your Child Hates School explains reasons for a student’s frustrations with school and how parents can support their struggling child. Here are solutions to Help Your Child Love School Again:

1. Advocate for Your Child

Your child needs you to be their voice, especially when they feel unheard or misunderstood. Work closely with teachers, counselors, and administrators to ensure they receive the support they need.

• Request meetings if you notice ongoing struggles.
• Ask about support services such as speech therapy, occupational therapy, or counseling.
• Work with the school to develop an IEP or 504 Plan if your child qualifies for accommodations.

2. Focus on Strengths and Interests

Every child has strengths and interests that can help them reconnect with learning.

• Find ways to incorporate their passions into their education.
• Encourage them to join clubs, extracurricular activities, or special programs that align with their interests.
• Praise effort and progress rather than just grades.

3. Create a Safe Space at Home

Home should be a place of comfort and safety where your child can decompress.

• Provide opportunities for downtime and relaxation after school.
• Encourage open conversations where your child feels safe sharing their feelings.
• Validate their emotions—“I hear that school is tough for you right now. Let’s work together to make it better.”

4. Teach Self-Advocacy Skills

Empower your child to express their needs and seek support when necessary.

• Teach them how to ask for help from a teacher.
• Encourage them to recognize what strategies work best for them (e.g., using fidgets, taking breaks).
• Help them practice self-regulation and coping skills.

5. Normalize Differences and Challenges

Whether your child is neurotypical or neurodivergent, they need to know that struggles with school do not define them.

• Teach them that everyone has strengths and challenges.
• Encourage a growth mindset—challenges help us grow and learn.
• Remind them that their worth is not tied to grades or performance.

Final Thoughts: Turning Struggle into Success

If your child hates school, it’s important to listen, validate, and take action. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but by identifying the root cause and implementing targeted strategies, you can help your child feel more confident, supported, and engaged in their education.

Remember, school should not be a place of dread—it should be a place of discovery. With the right support, advocacy, and encouragement, your child can rediscover their love for learning.

If you have concerns about your child’s school experience, reach out to their teachers, special education team, or school counselors. You are not alone in this journey, and together, we can make school a place where all children feel seen, heard, and valued.

Least Restructive Learning Environments Promote Success

One of the hardest pieces of an IEP to understand is the LRE  or Least Restrictive Environment. It is a fundamental principle in special education. The LRE emphasizes the importance of placing students with disabilities in educational settings that allow for the maximum possible interaction with their non-disabled peers while meeting their unique needs. The primary goal is to provide an inclusive and supportive environment that fosters academic and social development while meeting a child’s individual needs.

Mainstream with Specialized Services

Below are key components included in the LRE.

• Inclusion in General Education: LRE encourages placing students with disabilities in general education classrooms with appropriate support services. This means your child can learn and interact with students without disabilities, promoting a sense of belonging and social integration.
• Individualization of Support: The concept of LRE recognizes that the level of support your child needs may vary. It emphasizes providing individualized services and accommodations to ensure that your child can participate in class activities and receive appropriate educational opportunities.
• Consideration of Specialized Services: While the goal is inclusion in general education, LRE also acknowledges that some students may benefit from specialized services or additional support. These services should be tailored to your child’s specific needs and provided in a way that minimizes segregation from their non-disabled peers.
• Collaboration between Educators and Specialists: Achieving the least restrictive environment often involves collaboration between general education teachers, special education teachers, and other specialists. They work together to create an inclusive and supportive learning environment that meets the diverse needs of all students.
• Regular Monitoring and Adjustments: The placement in the least restrictive environment is not a one-time decision. It involves ongoing assessment and monitoring to ensure that the chosen setting continues to meet your child’s needs. If adjustments are needed, they should be made to promote your child’s success and well-being.

Participate with All Students

In essence, LRE is about striking a balance between providing the necessary support for your child with special needs and fostering their inclusion in the broader educational community. It is a commitment to creating an environment where every child can learn, grow, and interact with their peers in a way that maximizes their potential. I always tell parents and teachers that it’s about what support needs to be in place for the student to make adequate progress in closing gaps.

Behavior Intervention Plans Ensure Student Achievement

A Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) is a personalized and structured strategy developed to address and modify challenging behaviors in children. It is a proactive approach used in special education to promote positive behavior and provide support for children who may exhibit behaviors that interfere with their learning or social interactions.

Supports Improved Student Behaviors

A Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) is a carefully designed plan that outlines specific strategies and interventions to address and improve a child’s behavior. It is developed based on the findings of a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) and aims to create a positive and supportive environment that helps the child succeed academically and socially. The BIP is tailored to the unique needs of the child and focuses on promoting positive behaviors while addressing the underlying causes of challenging behavior.

Provides Targeted Student Strategies

Key points to understand about BIPs:

• Individualized: Each Behavior Intervention Plan is individualized to the specific child and their unique behavior challenges. It takes into account the results of the Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA), which identifies the triggers and functions of the behavior.
• Targeted Strategies: The BIP includes specific, targeted strategies and interventions to address the identified triggers and functions of the challenging behavior. These strategies are designed to be positive, proactive, and supportive, focusing on teaching the child alternative, more appropriate behaviors.
• Positive Reinforcement: BIPs often incorporate positive reinforcement strategies to encourage and reinforce desired behaviors. Rewards and positive consequences are used to motivate the child to engage in appropriate actions.
• Clear Implementation Plan: The BIP outlines a clear plan for how the strategies and interventions will be implemented. It includes information on who will be involved, what specific actions will be taken, and when and where the interventions will occur.
• Collaboration with Parents and School Staff: Parents are essential partners in the development and implementation of a BIP. Their insights and collaboration are crucial for the plan’s success. Teachers, special education staff, and other relevant school personnel also play key roles in implementing the plan.
• Ongoing Monitoring and Adjustments: A BIP is a dynamic document that requires ongoing monitoring and evaluation. If certain strategies are not proving effective or if the child’s needs change, the BIP can be adjusted to better meet those needs.
• Legal Considerations: In some cases, a BIP may be a legally mandated document, especially for students receiving special education services. It is part of the overall Individualized Education Program (IEP) or Section 504 Plan, which outlines the educational services and accommodations for students with disabilities.

Ensures Student Successes

In summary, a Behavior Intervention Plan is a comprehensive and individualized approach to supporting a child with challenging behaviors. It aims to create a positive and inclusive learning environment that fosters the child’s success while addressing the underlying causes of the behavior. Regular communication and collaboration between parents and school staff are crucial for the effective implementation of the plan.

Behavior Assessments Support Children’s Learning Successes

A Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) is a process used in special education (and sometimes in general education)  to understand and analyze the reasons behind a child’s challenging behavior. It’s a systematic and individualized approach that helps educators and other professionals identify the underlying factors contributing to a student’s behavior while at school and provide tailored support for their behaviors. An FBA is NOT completed for all students.

Understanding Behavior Challenges

This thorough and structured process aims to understand why a child engages in certain behaviors that may be challenging or disruptive at school. It involves gathering information to figure out what triggers the behavior, what purpose or function the behavior serves for the child, and how the environment may be influencing their actions. The goal is to develop a clear understanding of the behavior’s root causes so that effective strategies and interventions can be implemented to support the child while at school.

Functional Behavior Assessments

FBAs include the following:

• Individualized Analysis: An FBA is tailored to the specific child and their unique behavior. It involves gathering information through observations, interviews, and other assessment methods to create a detailed profile of the child’s behavior.
• Identifying Triggers: The assessment seeks to identify the antecedents or triggers that precede the challenging behavior. These triggers could be environmental factors, social situations, or other events that set the stage for the behavior to occur.
• Determining Function or Purpose: One crucial aspect of an FBA is determining the function or purpose the behavior serves for the child. Understanding what the child gains or avoids through their behavior helps in developing targeted interventions.
• Collaboration with Parents and Teachers: Parents play a crucial role in the FBA process. Their insights and observations about the child’s behavior at home contribute valuable information. Teachers and other school staff also collaborate to ensure a comprehensive understanding of the child’s behavior across different settings.
• Development of Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP): Based on the findings of the FBA, a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) is created. This plan outlines specific strategies and interventions to address the identified triggers and functions of the behavior. The goal is to promote positive behavior and provide support to the child.
• Ongoing Monitoring and Adjustments: The FBA process is not a one-time event. It involves ongoing monitoring of the child’s behavior and the effectiveness of the interventions. If needed, adjustments to the BIP can be made to ensure continued progress.

Achieving Sucess that Supports Student Learning

In summary, a Functional Behavior Assessment is a tool used to understand the “why” behind a child’s challenging behavior, leading to the development of a personalized plan to support positive behavior and create a more conducive learning environment. It emphasizes collaboration between parents, educators, and specialists to address the unique needs of the child.