Family Community Service

Children thrive when they have important roles and responsibilities in their home, school, and community. The holiday season is a perfect opportunity for children to create or support a program that serves the needs of various cultural communities around the world. Kids can develop empathy and respect for diverse cultural communities while supporting their schools and communities with their families. Many schools sponsor clothing drives, gift collections, food collections, and emergency support programs for those affected from natural disasters. As part of their learning, students can learn about another country and culture as they participate in a cultural experience of community service.

Partnerships with Schools

The Generational Parenting bloggers have partnered with the Santa Clara County Office of Education to provide culturally sensitive workshops to parents and families on parent communication topics, how to support your child’s school success, how to play while learning, what to do when your child is having trouble in school, and how to plan for college and careers. Through this partnership, students can provide community service to their schools. They can contact their school teacher about offering a workshop on a parenting topic that their parents would like to learn more about. The student can gain community service credits by organizing the workshop. They can work with interpreters, copy handouts, advertise the workshop, help parents register, and host the workshop. Afterwards, the student can meet with the teacher and parents. Students can discuss opportunities to support future workshops with parent/student leadership support.

Community Service Planning Worksheet

During this season of giving, brainstorm various community service activities that you can share with your family by completing the worksheet.

Happy community service!

Mary Ann

Community Service Worksheet for My Family

Review the various community services that you can share with your family. Check those that you would like to research and support through community service.

Type of Service	Check those you would like to research for support services.
Collecting money for disaster relief
Gathering clothes and food for those in need
Planting trees and cleaning a park, a school, or the beach
Adopting a school in need of computers
Serving meals at a homeless shelter
Visiting and performing for seniors
Making gifts for seniors, veterans, and those in need
Tutoring younger children or helping at the school
Helping a mother or babysitting for young children
Assisting at a daycare or nursery school
Working in an afterschool daycare program
Helping at a hospital or community service agency
Doing secretarial and computer work at agencies
Organizing and providing interpretation and translation services at a parent education workshop
Other:

Describe how you will provide these services. How will you learn more about a community service or need? What can each family member do to support this community service activity?

Have you ever volunteered for a social service agency, a church, at your school? What did you learn by volunteering? What leadership skills did you develop?

What did you learn when working with other cultures?

How can we help you develop a community service project for your family and community?

How Our Children Can Support Diverse Cultures

In this season of Thanksgiving, many of us meet with friends and family to celebrate our blessings. When reflecting on our culturally diverse friendships, the GenParenting bloggers have previously published blogs on how we can raise culturally sensitive children by modeling acceptance, sharing interests, participating in interfaith events, and partnering in community services and school activities. We have shared thoughtful experiences of how our children have shared their American culture with children from other countries. And we have celebrated various heritages at diversity events per the calendar of events at www.diversitycentral.com.

Questions for Consideration

As you plan for another Thanksgiving, consider the following questions that you can discuss with your family:

Consider your family’s experiences with diverse cultures:
- Have you organized playdates and meals with friends from other countries?
- Have you celebrated a special event or shared a cultural holiday together?
- What have you learned from these various activities?
- Have you invited friends from other cultures to your home to share their lives with you?
- Do you create art projects or cook food from other cultures?
- Do your read books and watch shows about other cultures and discuss what you have learned?
How do you learn about and share various cultures?
What museums, art exhibits, community fairs, churches, park activities, and school events can you participate in with your children to learn about another culture?
When considering your upcoming Thanksgiving celebration, how can you share other cultures at the family dinner?
What can you share about your culture with your family at Thanksgiving?
What culturally sensitive traditions have you created for your family? (i.e. collecting holiday decorations from various cultures, art, books, and sharing holiday dinners with friends from diverse cultures)
How does your family promote “equity for all” in your daily activities?
How do community groups support “equity for all” when sharing various cultural practices?
What are five primary values you can share with your family about other cultures?
How should education and community services support “equity for all”?

Building Cultural Sensitivity Awareness

May the peace and joy of sharing various cultures at Thanksgiving time expand your friendships and cultural sensitivity awareness.

Mary Ann

When Your College Child Comes Home for a Visit

After attending summer school at the university, my son was able to come home for a few days to visit us and his friends. I continue to be impressed with the impact that college and living independently has had on my son. Some outcomes include:

My son is growing up and learning how to become a member of a larger community.
He is very grateful in how we raised him.
EJ is learning how to give back to others.
His living situation is very healthy and supportive.
EJ is living in a school sponsored co-op housing with older students. This provides him with an expanded support system of mentors.
Each co-op member must contribute to the upkeep of the house. My son is learning new house management skills.

When I reflect on EJ’s growth after his first year at the university, I am impressed that he has found a living environment that supports his social-emotional growth. Due to my son’s experiences in construction, he is the new Maintenance Manager at his co-op. This job ensures that that EJ continues to learn essential life skills that will support his daily living needs. The leadership co-op responsibility also provides EJ with opportunities to participate in house management meetings with a variety of students. Now that he is part of the household management team, EJ participates in the review of housing applicants to ensure cohesive living experiences for a diverse population of students.

With appreciation for the college experience,

Yvette

Talking About Death and Difficult Subjects Reading Activity

Children are often curious about understanding the death of a pet or family member. You can read your child an age appropriate book or the story below about the death of a father when a child is a preschooler or early elementary student. When children lose a young parent to death, they can become very fearful that they may lose other significant family members at a young age. It is critical that we reassure our children when they hear about a friend or family member.

The story below is written by Michele McDevitt, a GenParenting guest blogger, who sadly has significant experiences working with grief and young family members. After reading the story, you can answer the comprehension questions and submit a comment to GenParenting.com.

I Have a Dad; He’s Just in Heaven

By Michele McDevitt

Hi! My name is Alex. And I have a secret. When I was three years old, my dad died. At first, I was too young to understand what happened to my dad. I would ask my mom when he was going to come home from work and she would tell me, “Your dad was very sick. So his body died and his spirit is in heaven.”

I would also ask my grandma when my dad would come back and she would respond, “Your dad is in heaven. That means that you will not see him again, but he lives in your heart, your mind, and your body each day of your life.” When my grandma reassures me, I feel my dad’s presence in my life that fills a big empty space in my heart.

Sometimes my grandparents bug me about how I am feeling because they are worried that I may be feeling sad about my dad. At those times, my grandparents may talk too much about my dad to try and help me. Although these talks may hurt, it helps to remember that my dad loves me. My grandpas are also good to me and cheer me on at my soccer and basketball games.

When my dad first died, my mom used to cry all the time. She missed my dad so much. I worried about her. I would tell my grandma that my mom was sad and my grandma would cry too. She said she also missed my dad a lot. To help her remember good times, my grandma would tell me something funny that my dad had said or did. She would also tell me that it helps to count our blessings and be thankful for all of the good things in our lives.

I feel bad because I can’t remember much about my dad anymore. I don’t remember very well what he looked like. I do remember my dad in the hospital and how he looked so tired and sick. My grandma says not to worry as she shares a wonderful picture of my dad holding me when I was a baby.

Although I have a lot of friends at school, some kids are mean and will say, “You’re weird. You have no dad! Hahaha!”

When other kids raze me about never seeing my dad, I just say that my dad is on an important trip. Sometimes I yell, “I have a dad; he’s just in heaven!”

I hope I make a friend who also lost his dad. Sometimes, I feel lonely. Dad doesn’t visit me in my dreams very much. He used to visit me in my dreams all the time! Dad would take me flying with him all over the world. He told me he would always be with me and watch over me–even if I couldn’t feel it! Dad said he was in my heart and I would never be alone.

My dad’s friends talk to me about their happy memories about my dad. I like to talk to them about the coolest new video games, super hero movies and stuff like that. Although my grandpas are nice, they are not that cool.

I have learned that my dad is with me all the time, although he cannot play ball with me, take me to a sports game, or read to me. Sometimes, I still cry myself to sleep. At those times, I can feel my dad’s arms around me and I know somehow, I’ll be alright.

Ask the following questions after reading the story or another book on death:

Do you know anyone who has died? Describe your memories of that person.
What would you like to do to remember the happy times with that person?
What can I tell you about death?
Do you have any classmates that have lost a parent, grandparent, relative, or friend?
What did you do for this friend in class? What have they shared about their grief or experiences?
If you have attended a memorial service or funeral, what are your memories of this event and the person who died?
What else would you like to learn about death and dying?
If an animal or person died, draw a picture about a happy memory and talk about that memory?
Would you like to do something else to remember that person (i.e. plant a tree, go to a special place, sing a song, read a story, look at photo albums)?

Listed below are relevant California Common Core Standards for English Language Arts and Literacy that support early elementary learners:

Kindergarten: With prompting and support, ask and answer questions about key details in a text.
Grade 1: Ask and answer questions about key details in a text.
Grade 2: Ask and answer such questions as who, what, where, when, why, and how to demonstrate understanding of key details in a text.
With prompting and support, describe the relationship between illustrations and the story in which they appear (e.g. what moment in a story an illustration depicts).
Kindergarten: With prompting and support, retell familiar stories, including key details.

Talking About Death and Difficult Subjects

Preschoolers and early elementary children are very interested in talking about death and difficult subjects. Typically, children will ask parents a variation of one of these questions:

Why did the insect die?
Did my cat go to cat heaven? Can I see her?
I know great grandpa was very old and sick? Why did he die? Where did he go? Will I see him again?
Will you die soon?

A Parent’s Response

When asked these questions, parents are typically overwhelmed about how to simply answer the question. When their great grandparents died, we told our preschoolers and early elementary grandkids that their great grandparents were very sick for a long time and that they died from old age and being very sick. We assured them that we would not die tomorrow and are taking very good care of ourselves. We also do not project fear and were very loving about the fun times the grandkids shared with the older relative.

Talking About Feelings

Sometimes, however, children lose their parent at a very young age and the entire family is traumatized from this very sad situation. Children should be reassured with love throughout this difficult time. They should be encouraged to talk about their feelings of sadness, grief, fear, and despair. Families should celebrate the happy times they have shared with each other. Parents can purchase an age appropriate book or go to the library for a book about understanding the death of a friend or family member. When their great grandparents died, the preschoolers and early elementary great grandchildren attended the memorial services and sang a song that was shared over generations. Even if it has been several years, the great grandchildren remember visiting their sick great grandparents in the hospital and talking to their family about the memorial.

Creating Memories

Sometimes families plant a tree or go to a special place to remember their loved family members. I still go to a particular ice cream shop in memory of happy times with my family. The grandkids treasure these moments. It is a wonderful way to respect a family member’s memories!

Respectfully,

Mary Ann