Overcoming Holiday Brain Drain

Presents have been unwrapped, leftovers have been eaten, decorations have been put away…You have survived another hectic holiday season! So what’s going on with the kids? Have you noticed that the kids are cranky during and especially after the holidays? Are their brains now a mush and are they dreading the return to school?

The reality is that the holiday season is a major emotional roller coaster, especially for kids. Think about all the excitement and anticipation that kids have experienced during this time– writing a hopeful letter (fingers and toes crossed!) to Santa with their wish list, on-the-go activities like Christmas tree shopping and decorating the home, ice skating and drinking hot chocolate. Of course, there’s holiday shopping, attending traditional winter performances or recitals, watching new-release movies…not to mention the waiting and waiting for Christmas Day to open presents and the anticipation (or dread) of family get-togethers and holiday feasts!

And then everything comes to an abrupt halt.

What if the solution to overcoming holiday brain drain is moderation? Pacing your activities so that kids don’t crash from an emotional high would be a great way to overcome holiday brain drain. Here are some examples:

Practice the “Twelve Days of Christmas” Idea

In the traditional Christmas song “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” the true love gives one gift a day, culminating in the largest and grandest gift on the last day. Having your kids open one gift a day during the holidays will keep the excitement of opening gifts ongoing, but not over-the-top. Not only will they will be able to play with and appreciate each gift by itself one day at a time, they practice delayed gratification.

Reinforce an Attitude of Gratitude

Have your kids write one thank you card for each gift received, also one day at a time. Teach them to be genuine in their thanks, seeking out unique characteristics of the gift and of the gift giver for which to be thankful. Writing one card a day is way less stressful than writing a whole bunch at a time! Writing thank you cards gives kids closure; a clear, mental signal that the holiday season is ending.

Keep Up with Academic Activities

During the holiday season, continue the habit of reading for twenty minutes a day. Make sure your kids are reading a variety of non-fiction and fiction texts. Do they have a favorite online math game they like to play? Or perhaps there’s a particular science exploration program they like to watch? Or give your kids a bunch of craft supplies and let their brains get creative!

What are some other ways you moderate activities so your kids don’t get holiday brain drain?

Jaime

Celebrating Heritage

How can we teach our children to respect people who are different than they are? One way we can do this is by teaching them about themselves and others. February is the beginning of the Heritage Month celebrations for 2018. Here is the schedule for each month that a cultural heritage is designated to be recognized. Additional infomation can be found on the Diversity Central website.

Month	Heritage Celebrated
February	African American History Month
March	National Women’s History Month, Irish-American Heritage Month
May	Asian Pacific American Heritage, Older Americans Month and Jewish American Heritage Month
June	Gay Lesbian Pride Month
September	National Hispanic-Latino Heritage Month (Sept. 15-Oct. 15)
October	National Disability Employment Awareness Month and National Italian American Heritage Month
November	National American Indian Heritage Month

Teaching About Cultural Heritage

There are many informative online resources for parents to use. They provide historical information, book lists for different age groups and reading levels, opportunites for writing, and hands-on activities. I have listed a sampling of these resource websites including some geared toward pre-adolescents and adolescents in grades 4-12. Older children and teens, as well as younger children, can thoughtfully express their feelings about what they are learning orally or in writing. Reading and other activies will likely prompt questions that can lead to in-depth discussions.

African-American History Month

This is What Teaching Our Kids About Women’s History Really Looks Like

5 Ways to Celebrate Asian Pacific American Heritage Month

LGBT Pride Month: How Parents Should Approach the Subject with Their Children

Resources to Celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month with Your Kids

Positive Impact

Children benefit from learning about people who are different than they are. They also benefit from learning about their own ethnic and cultural heritage. Show your children pictures of their relatives and ancestors. Tell them their stories. Create a family tree with your kids.

When children learn their own family’s history, they are better able to relate to the histories of others. They can find similarities in other people’s hardships and triumphs. They can also connect to others and have compassion for other people’s struggles. Compassion and understanding lead children to focus on how people are similar, rather than on how they are different. This will have a positive impact on how children will interact with and treat each other.

Wishing you happy and prosperous New Year with love and affection,

Rosemarie

Do You Align Your Parenting Skills with Your Partner and Caregivers?

Whenever there are conflicts, parents, the extended family, and caregivers must agree to work together for positive resolutions. This can be difficult when different parenting skills and beliefs exist. It is important for parents to agree that they are on the same team. They must examine their beliefs, values, and strategies on how they want to respond to their children’s needs. Additionally, they must share their parenting strategies and expectations with the extended family members and caregivers to ensure that the parenting of their children is as consistent as possible.

Conflict Resolution Strategies

Consider the following suggestions when you cannot agree how to resolve conflicts with your children:

Inconsistent parenting creates chaos and confusion for the family; adults and children. Some parents are very strict, some are very permissive, and others are democratic and adapt natural and logical consequences. Parents may have to compromise when setting expectations for behavior. When parents cannot agree, they may benefit by taking a parenting class or consulting parenting guides either online or in printed texts. Pick your battles carefully and determine which parenting strategies will meet most of your needs.
Screen time; television, video games, and cell phone activities, can create significant conflicts for parents. Ideally, parents can agree to limit screen and television time to no more than one hour per day during the work week as families have limited face time with each other. Weekends can be negotiated depending on the family’s needs and opportunities.
Scheduling quality family time creates challenges because some parents are more responsible for family care. Typically, one or both parents may have work hours that prevent them from being with their children very much during the work week. An absent parent may become disconnected with their children’s needs and be resented by the family because of their absences. The family must manage their time to ensure that quality family time is available each week. Such valuable time may have to be created by securing support from extended family members when needed.

Aligning Parenting Differences

It is critical that parents and caregivers work together to resolve challenges, regardless of their parenting differences. It is never to late to align your parenting styles and become consistent when disciplining and setting expectations for your children.

Happy united parenting!

Joyce

How to Handle Social Challenges

I was painfully shy as kid. I cried every morning when my mom dropped me off at school during the first week of kindergarten. I cried when her face wasn’t the first one I saw when school let out for the day. In fact, I was so leery of social interaction that I sat in my teacher’s lap that year for school pictures! Thankfully, my parents have helped me through my timidity and I’ve come a long way from since I was in kindergarten! Here are a few lessons I have taught my own kids to help guide them through different social challenges.

Help your child make friends

In an age where people are more isolated than ever, I try to help my kids develop a sense of connectedness with their classmates. During the first weeks of school, I would ask my kids who their friends are and try to arrange play dates with those friends. As parents came along to the play date, I would also befriend the parents. Play dates at the park or at a home helps kids to learn social norms. The more comfortable kids are around friends in contexts outside of school, the more they learn to relate with others. If you have older kids, invite their friends over to your house and feed them a snack before they hang out. There’s just something about food that brings people together and strengthens the bonds of friendship!

Help your child to develop empathy

There are lots of good messages about accepting diversity, embracing differences, and being an up-stander (an anti-bullying message). I’m all for teaching our kids to do what is right and to hold kids accountable when they wrong others. However, one valuable lesson to teach our kids is empathy. When we teach our kids to put themselves in the shoes of the other and try to understand their feelings, we teach our kids compassion. Compassion then leads to forgiveness. When kids forgive, they let go of their assumed right to be angry or to hold a grudge. This will help diffuse a variety of difficult situations your kids will face.

Help your child express their feelings using their words

It is inevitable that your children will have conflicts. Rather than allowing them to express their frustration through anger or violence, teach kids to use “I feel” statements. Model open dialogue with your kids and keep communication positive between family members. The more they see constructive conversation at home, they more they will use it to diffuse challenging situations with their classmates at school.

Whatever social challenges your kids may be facing, I wish you much patience and grace.

Jaime

Another Temper Tantrum!

It has been a long week of challenges. First your child is sick. Then you get sick. A water pipe breaks and your car needs a tow for a maintenance service. What can a parent do to manage their children’s unhappiness when these disruptive events contribute to their temper tantrums? When I am having a bad day with lots of stress and children’s temper tantrums, I enlist the “Five A’s of Parenthood”:

The Five A’s of Parenthood

Accept: You and your child can accept that it has been a challenging day and you can tell her that you accept her frustration and it is ok that she is angry, sad, and needs to express herself. You can also set boundaries on where she can have her tantrum or you may choose to walk away and then return once she calms down.
Appreciate: Help your child relax and reflect on life. When all else fails, have your child state three good things that have happened to her during the day. If she cannot remember anything good, I will tell her that she is loved by me, she is loved by her favorite snuggly toy, and she has a loving family.
Accomplish: Once your child calms down from her tantrum and you are feeling positive, you can give her a job that will help you. My child loves to unload the dishwasher which is a huge help for me and very appreciated by the family.
Acknowledge: Once your daughter completes her task, tell her how much she has helped you and how careful she is when completing her job. This support and acknowledgement will reinforce a positive relationship between both of you.
Act: Once all is calm, consider how you can manage the rest of the day to minimize more stressful situations that can generate more temper tantrums.

Parent Support

We are our children’s primary teachers. We can teach our children resiliency skills when we model how to realign a difficult day and turn it into a pleasant and supportive day.

Happy parenting!

Mary Ann