Kids Need Interpersonal Skills at School

In my last post, I wrote about providing kids with opportunities to problem-solve and to engage in socializing without the use of technology.  In this post, I want to continue to explore the idea of the differences between generations and what our children’s generation will need to develop the soft skills that are necessary for success in their futures.

One of my roles as a school principal is to oversee hiring for my school.  Now job applications are collected online. Tools like Indeed and ZipRecruiter make it easy to apply to many jobs with just a few clicks of the mouse. One job posting typically brings in hundreds of applications.  Earlier in my career, job postings would solicit only 15 to 20 applications. Most job applicants were qualified for the job.  Today, many people look for jobs casually with a shotgun approach to submitting job applications. At times, when I reach out to applicants, there’s never a 100% guarantee they are even waiting for my call or my message.

When I do find those applicants who are qualified and responsive, I can usually tell fairly quickly whether or not they will be a good fit personality-wise.  Things like confidence, general attitude, and true experience are revealed pretty quickly.  However, it is important to ask probing interview questions that get to whether or not applicants have developed the soft-skills and interpersonal skills they will need to be successful in the workforce.  In classrooms across our nation, teachers are sharing that kids are lacking these soft-skills with a much higher frequency as the school year progresses.  Many kids are no longer self-motivated. They struggle when asked to work in groups. Often, students approach interactions with education staff and peers with a strong sense of entitlement.

Teaching Kids Essential Interpersonal Skills

Certainly, there are kids in the classroom who still possess these skills.  They come to school ready to learn, ready to socialize, and ready to follow school expectations.  But in a classroom of 30 students 20 years ago, you may have had one or two students who entered the classroom with a skills-deficit.  Today, there are more likely 12-15 students who still need to develop one or more of those highly important abilities.  Schools are doing some important interventions to help kids learn these skills on the fly, during content instruction:

• Engaging kids in group work with structured roles
• Project-based learning to help kids identify and solve problems
• Service learning to make the content projects more community-based and relevant
• Providing culturally relevant lessons and content to grab students’ interest and help make connections
• Goal setting and monitoring with students to help foster a mind towards the future and self-motivation

How Parents Can Help

As the parent, you can take the lead on helping your child with the school’s staff develop these soft skills!  During parent meetings and conferences, ask about what opportunities the kids have at the school to build social, emotional, and leadership skills.  Examples include:

• Partner with your child’s teacher(s) to address times when your child falls short. Advocate for your child, but make sure you work with other adults to help your child learn when they make mistakes.
• Sign your child up for extracurricular activities that will require teamwork and interaction. These may include sports, martial arts, reading clubs, or youth service teams.
• Make sure your time at home is well-balanced between opportunities to learn and interact and an appropriate amount of screen time.

Is Your Child Disruptive at School?

Each day, we drop our kids off at school or at the bus stop hoping they have a great day. No parent wants anything bad to happen to their children or secretly hopes that their child is not causing trouble all day. No parent teaches their child to be disruptive, to break school rules, or to defy authority “just because.” But as any teacher or school employee will tell you, there are kids in our classes where it sometimes feels like this is the case. We have students who cause disruptions from the moment they walk through the front doors. For some students, even the most simple and obvious correction of behavior erupts into defiance or argument.  As a parent, when the school communicates about concerns, how do you respond?

How to Respond to School Staff’s Concerns

Of course no one wants to receive a call about their child’s misbehavior. No parent wants to have a conference in which they find out that their child is failing or behind academically. This type of news is always difficult to hear. How parents respond will determine whether students go down a path of entitlement or a path of learning, growth, and improvement. As parents, we can choose to bulldoze obstacles, ignore them, or help our children navigate the challenge they are currently facing head on. The latter will be a path that will lead them to greater success down the road.

Options for Change

The protective instinct as a parent is strong. Our intuition tells us that we need to remove every obstacle and every inkling of potential friction from our kids’ lives. We want them to live a life of safety, comfort, and opportunity. Unfortunately, what we have seen in recent years is that the effort to eliminate the challenges our kids face has fostered a society where kids are less and less motivated and equipped to solve problems on their own. When kids encounter obstacles, it is vitally important that parents help children identify the issue clearly. Parents must support kids to manage their emotions while they develop a plan for moving forward.

Holding Our Kids Accountable

Often, the first step in this process is ownership. Kids need to honestly assess the situation and accept their role and responsibility. When the challenge is a low grade or poor student behavior, taking a step of ownership allows students to accept that they are the ones who need to take responsibility to move forward.

Unfortunately, when parents bulldoze or excuse children from the behavior (and especially when they place the blame elsewhere) kids miss out on the opportunity to problem-solve their way past barriers. Kids need parents to hold them accountable and to help them navigate the tricky waters of ownership and responsibility.

Partner with the School

The good news is that school staff is eager to partner with parents to walk with you down this road! Be on the lookout for workshop opportunities and chances for you and your child to get involved at school events. Also, when the school calls to discuss an issue with your child (i.e., grades or behavior) be sure to take a breath, listen, and partner with the school to map a pathway forward!

Beyond Backpacks: Setting Up for School Success (Part 1)

As summer starts to wrap up and the back-to-school excitement kicks in, most of us are thinking about new backpacks, fresh school supplies, and meeting this year’s teacher. Those things matter—but there’s something even more important that often gets missed: executive function skills. These behind-the-scenes brain skills are what really help kids start the year strong, no matter what grade they’re in.

As a special education teacher, I know that school success isn’t just about what kids know—it’s about how they use what they know. That’s where executive function skills come in. Think of them as the brain’s “CEO”—they help kids plan, stay organized, manage their time, stay on task, handle emotions, and roll with the punches when things change. These skills are a huge part of how kids do in school, with friends, and even at home. And here’s the best part: they’re not set in stone. We can help kids build and strengthen these skills with the right support and practice.

With the start of a new school year upon us, now is the perfect time to intentionally cultivate these vital abilities. Here’s how you can support your child’s executive function skills for a smoother, more successful academic journey.

The Power of Planning: Establishing Routines and Organization

A predictable routine provides a sense of security and significantly reduces mental load, freeing up brainpower for learning.

• Create a Centralized “Command Center”: Dedicate a visible spot in your home (a bulletin board, a whiteboard in the kitchen) for a family calendar. Mark school holidays, extracurricular activities, project due dates, and even family appointments. For older students, encourage them to maintain their own digital or physical planner.
• Morning and Evening Rituals: Establish consistent routines for before and after school. This isn’t just about brushing teeth; it includes packing lunches, laying out clothes, organizing backpacks, and deciding on a consistent homework time. Write these routines down for younger children using pictures, or a checklist for older ones.
• Designated Study Space: Help your child set up a clutter-free, consistent workspace. This doesn’t need to be elaborate; it could be a corner of their room or a specific spot at the kitchen table. The key is that it’s reliably available and conducive to focus, equipped with necessary supplies.

Time Management: Making Time Tangible

Time is an abstract concept, especially for elementary students. Making it concrete helps them manage tasks effectively.

Visual Timers: For younger children, use sand timers or visual timers that show time ticking down. This helps them understand how long 10 or 20 minutes really is for a task.

• “Chunking” Tasks: Large assignments can feel overwhelming. Help your child break down big projects into smaller, manageable steps. Instead of “Write a report,” suggest “First, research topic. Next, create an outline. Then, write introduction.”
• Estimating Time: Practice estimating how long tasks will take. “How long do you think it will take to clean your room? Let’s set a timer and see!” This builds self-awareness and improves future planning.
• The Pomodoro Technique (for older students): Encourage focused work sessions ( 25 minutes) followed by short breaks (5 minutes). This can dramatically improve focus and prevent burnout. Check out your phone’s app store and grab a timer for free.

These executive function skills are not just helpful for school. They are critical for life. My next blog will describe the power of planning, how to sustain attention, and increase our child’s working memory.

Summer Boundaries for Kids!

It is summer and children are filled with enthusiasm and passion for adventure and wanting to try new experiences. Many parents struggle with how to keep their children healthy and happy during long summer days. Some families schedule many summertime activities and camps for their children. Others reinforce a more relaxed lifestyle with some special family planned activities and lots of free time for exploring. Some children are busy with sports activities while others spend endless hours playing online games and watching television. Summarized below are five considerations for family fun with a balance of structure and free play activities.

Keeping Balance in Daily Life

It is difficult to balance each child’s daily schedule when planning camps, sports activities, and family play. Some children thrive with lots of scheduled activities while others are overwhelmed and need lots of free time to relax and decompress from daily life. When our kids are overscheduled or bored, they fight more and are more anxious about daily life. Identifying an appropriate balance of activities for each child’s temperament and personality can be challenging for parents. Some helpful strategies include:

• Help each child identify 1 to 3 activities for summer play and make a plan to complete each activity.
• Adjust the daily schedule when activities are exhausting to allow time to relax and rest.
• Keep family life simple and relaxed during days of busy schedules.

Reinforcing Healthy Growth and Behaviors

During the summer parents can help their children develop healthy growth and behaviors by setting limits and consequences for positive behaviors and misbehaviors. For example, parents and their children can create a list of healthy behaviors that can be rewarded weekly with a special activity. Another list can be created for identifying misbehaviors that can result in timeouts or the loss of a daily privilege. For example, if a child acts aggressively towards his siblings, he may lose his screen time privilege for a day. The consequences for positive and negative behaviors should be reinforced by both parents to be fully effective and rewarding.

Maintaining Adult Supervision with Daily Adventures

Summertime offers abundant opportunities for children to explore nature with their family. Although children will not be formally learning academic subjects, many family outings can include science discovery and historical site visits. Camping, hiking, picnics, beach days, and visiting local and national parks offer extraordinary opportunities for children to learn more about their communities. When older children venture out into their communities to meet up with friends, it is important to have them check in with parents and caregivers on a predetermined schedule to ensure they are O.K. It is important for parents and caregivers to be accountable to their children as they begin to explore their neighborhood and community. Parents and caregivers’ responsible actions and availability can encourage children’s healthy development and confident independence.

Managing Screen Time and Summer Learning Opportunities

Children need a healthy mix of outside play, exploration, and learning throughout the summer. Learning should be fun and can include learning new hobbies, art projects, sports, academic subjects, and visiting family historical sites. These activities provide opportunities for reading and applying mathematical concepts. One child may create a vending machine mockup toy while another may create a masterful watercolor. Other children may spend their time practicing a sport, planning the family vacation, or learning how to cook a meal. Screen time can be educational but must be limited to ensure the children live balanced and engaging lives with their families and friends.

Honoring Sleep Schedules and Bedtimes

Many children’s sleep schedules are very relaxed during the summer. Some kids will stay up most of the night playing on phones or laptops. It is important to set a healthy sleep schedule for all family members to ensure that all can function in a productive way throughout the day. The added benefit is that children are more rested to tolerate stress and conflicts with parents, siblings, and friends. Additionally, children are able to adjust easily to getting up early for the new school year in the next few weeks. For example, we have our children leave their electronics charging in the kitchen at night after we go to bed to ensure none of us are interrupted from a restful sleep.

May the last weeks of summer be filled with wonderful memories of new adventures, play, and loving relationships with family and friends.

What Should Parents Know About AI?

As a product of the 80s and 90s, I grew up with a bit of uneasiness with the idea of AI.  It seems like a cool idea, to have robots and machines do all of our undesirable tasks.  But movies like Terminator drop a bit of fear of a robot takeover into the back of my mind.  The list doesn’t stop with Arnold, the killer robot: The Matrix, I, Robot, Bicentennial Man, Short Circuit, Wall-E.  They are all movies about how robots take over in some way, shape, or form.  It always seemed far-fetched or like a fantasy from a world too far in the future to become my reality.

Should We Limit the Use of AI for Kids?

But here we are.  AI is quickly becoming a pivotal part of the work we do and how we interact with the world every day.  AI in education is a hot topic of conversation.  Many educators fear the use of AI and want to determine how we can stop students from utilizing the technology to cheat on their assignments.  Of course, we want to make sure students can read, write, and think critically on their own; but is halting the use of AI all together the answer?

I would say no.  As a rapidly expanding technology, AI will continue to become more and more a part of our everyday lives and it is already a tool people use to help ease their workload and to make themselves more productive.  As a school principal, I use AI to generate draft emails, write letters to my school community, generate social media campaign ideas for my staff, and to generate feedback that I can use as seed ideas to share with my staff when I observe their classes.  Of course, I have the knowledge and experience to review the content AI creates for me, so I can use it as an effective tool instead of a way to cheat my way out of responsibilities.  And yes, students will inevitably use this technology to cheat.  However, it is important for parents and educators to embrace this new technology, so we can teach our students powerful, useful, helpful, and ethical ways to use it.

How Can Children Use AI Safely?

As parents, you are your child’s guide to navigating the world. Take the opportunity early on to think about how your child can use AI in a meaningful way.  Without you, they are likely to find all the negative ways to use AI on their own.  With you by their side, they will learn to use a cutting-edge technology to help them on their pathway to productivity and success.

Where Do We Get Started?

As parents, you are your child’s guide to navigating the world. Take the opportunity early on to think about how your child can use AI in a meaningful way.  Without you, they are likely to find all the negative ways to use AI on their own.  With you by their side, they will learn to use a cutting-edge tool to help them learn, grow, and succeed.  Here are some ways to get started using AI at home to show your child that it is nothing to be feared and how to use it effectively:

• Use ChatGPT to suggest a weekend itinerary, help generate ideas for a holiday celebration, and create a family meal plan for the week.
• Use AI tools to generate ideas for fun videos you can post on social media with your kids (you can also use this as an opportunity to teach your kids about Internet safety).
• Take a course together from an online platform like Coursiv. This way you can discuss what you are learning about AI together.
• Try learning some skills together using AI, including graphic design with Canva, or essay revision with Gemini.

No matter how you get started, just be sure to bring your kids along with you.  Don’t be afraid to learn together, and you’ll be amazed how far they go!