Teaching Our Kids Character Habits That Last a Lifetime (Part 3)

Our childen excel when we help them learn character habits at home and school. My first two blog posts discussed effective perserverance, leadership, empathy, bravery, and ethical skill development. Below are strategies parents and teachers can use to help childen learn how to become accountable, respectful, provide service to their families and communities.

Accountability: Own Your Choices

Accountability means taking responsibility for your words and actions. Kids who practice this habit learn that mistakes are okay—when we own them and grow from them.

Encourage accountability by:

• Letting natural consequences happen when appropriate
• Helping your child reflect on poor choices without shame
• Using phrases like “What do you need to do to make it right?”

Try this: After a challenging moment, ask, “What would you do differently next time?”

Books to share:

David Gets in Trouble by David Shannon: David learns to take responsibility for his actions. Short and humorous but opens the door for honest conversations.

The Paperboy by Dav Pilkey: A quiet, reflective story about a boy who honors his daily responsibility. Subtle but powerful.

Respect: Treat Others How You Want to Be Treated

Respect is foundational. It means valuing yourself, others, and your environment. It starts with kindness and expands to how we speak, listen, and act.

Build respect by:

• Setting clear expectations around language and behavior
• Demonstrating respect in your own relationships (even when you disagree!)
• Talking about the importance of caring for things—home, school, nature

Try this: Ask, “What’s one way you showed respect today?”

Book to share:

All Are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold: A beautifully illustrated book that celebrates diversity, inclusion, and respect in a school community.

Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon by Patty Lovell: Molly Lou respects herself despite being different—and earns others’ respect by staying true to who she is.

Service: Help Others from the Heart

Service is about giving—not to get something back, but to make the world better. Children who serve become more aware of their role in a community and how they can contribute.

Foster service by:

• Volunteering as a family, even in small ways (like helping a neighbor)
• Encouraging random acts of kindness
• Celebrating efforts that come from the heart, not for a reward

Try this: Create a “kindness jar” and fill it with acts of service your child notices or does each week.

Books to share:

The Lion and the Little Red Bird by Elisa Kleven: A sweet story about kindness and care through quiet actions and gentle observation.

Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Peña: CJ and his grandmother ride the bus through the city, serving others and finding beauty and purpose in unexpected places. A modern classic about service and community.

Growing Good Humans

The habits of character give children a roadmap—not just to succeed, but to lead, care, and thrive. This framework helps families make these habits come to life, day after day.

You don’t have to be perfect to raise children of character. You just need to be intentional. Every bedtime talk, every moment of reflection, and every story you share builds something lasting.

Because in the end, we’re not just helping our kids become good students. We’re helping them become good people.

Teaching Our Children Executive Functioning Skills

As teachers prepare to support students this coming school year, they are consciously considering how to incorporate the 10 executive functioning skills in daily classroom activities. Summarized below are activities that I use daily in my classroom to shape executive functioning skills to ensue my students are successful with classroom routines and self-management:

Planning and Organization

When teaching reading, my goal is to increase student reading stamina by practicing a sequence of tasks:

• Reading the pictures to connect with the story (characters + setting) to determine what the story is about
• Looking at words to match the vocabulary meanings
• Reading the story with reflective stops or pauses with vocabulary to confirm what the story is about
• Remembering the core elements of a story that include who, what, where, why, and how
• Applying comprehension strategies of sequencing events or retelling key ideas
• Creating visual charts or graphic organizers to help students increase their comprehension skills when reading a story

When teaching math, students have math goals to build their math stamina with tasks:

• Checking for knowledge and understanding before introducing a new math concept or operation
• Giving student choice to work alone or in a small group to complete daily assignments
• Having students review math facts while using the four operations of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division
• Reviewing math operations with a quick problem that students can solve on their own or work with a math buddy for a solution
• Training peer tutors to assist students who need added assistance to complete assignments

Task Initiation and Flexibility

When working with students, my goal is to evaluate each student’s individual learning needs and adjust individual assignments to build student skills and independent stamina by:

• When introducing a new assignment, I check for understanding and have the students work on their own for approximately 10 minutes.
• As students work individually on their assignment, I walk by each student to observe their ability to complete the assigned activity. If they are stressed or distracted, I break down the assignment to a manageable task.
• As other classmates complete their assignment, I assign a buddy or tutor to assist individual students who are struggling to complete their assignment.

Attention and Self-Control

I use a variety of brain breaks to keep my students motivated and focused on their daily activities. These may include:

• Exercising with videos and songs
• Repeating classroom mantras and call back cheers
• Breaking up the day with movement breaks like recess, lunch break, and morning lap running
• Using fidget toys to help with anxiety and manage stress (at their desk and in a quiet zone / relaxation area)
• Creating a classroom reward system with students working together as a team for special rewards and classroom celebrations
• Having students select their own reading materials that match their interests
• Creating flexible time for students to work together in free play, art activities, or computer game play

Metacognition (e.g. review of what you know and re-dos) and Working Memory (e.g. mental math)

Student metacognition and working memory skills are reinforced when teaching, modeling, and practicing what is being taught in each subject area (with visual tools). Students are able to reflect and assess what they learned by creating and reviewing a proficiency rubric in reading, math, and writing assignments. They can also identify academic and behavior skills that they wish develop or improve by setting a goal to monitor in the next few weeks. Homework assignments and individual projects can be aligned to support practicing these new learning milestones.

Time Management

Each morning my students review the schedule for the day. At the end of each day, they review the class schedule assignments and reflect on their accomplishments and challenges for the day. Through this daily class reflection, students evaluate what their strengths are and decide what to accomplish the next day in class. They also set goals on how they will manage their time to achieve these results. If students have had a very respectful and productive week, they are rewarded with a free play activity at the end of the week.

Perseverance

As our class works together as a team, they learn to support each other in achieving their individual learning goals and cooperatively support each other in these achievements. As a team, the students celebrate each other’s successes and support the learning of individual students as peer tutors. My job as the teacher is to guide these many milestones and celebrate small wins along the way. I adjust the schedule on challenging days to ensure all students feel validated and successful in their learning and self-growth. By integrating executive functioning skills in daily classroom activities, my young students are learning the basic skills required for success in their personal lives and professional careers.

How to Help Struggling Students Learn

It is a new school year with lots of exciting learning opportunities for my students. After completing several weeks of assessing and observing my students’ academic strengths and challenges, I have modified my teaching strategies based on best practices for children with English acquisition, behavior, and struggling reader needs. Listed below are successful strategies I am using to support some specific learning challenges.

English Learners

English learners receive weekly academic tutoring support from staff in a school-wide pull-out program. Additionally, English learners are seated next to compassionate and supportive English-speaking classmates who can interpret and guide their English learner peers with various assignments. Creating a safe environment is critical for my non-native speakers. Sentence frames and charted models were essential for them to use before they were willing to try on their own. Native speakers learn how to become effective tutors while guiding their English learner classmates. Additionally, to encourage organic speaking opportunities in the classroom, I moved to having student-teachers. After math tests were corrected, students who demonstrated understanding of a particular math problem from the test became the teacher for that problem. Even students who needed to work 1:1 with me during the test had an opportunity to articulate how to solve the problem to their peers. It was a natural way for them to reprocess their learning, raise their social status in the classroom, and build confidence.

Overly Active and Aggressive Students

Students with an undiagnosed learning challenge that may also include hyperactive/ attention deficit disorder can be frustrated and disruptive in traditional classroom settings. Some benefit from using sensory fidget toys to relieve stress and anxiety. Other students benefit from sitting apart from their classmates. Finding the proper setting for individual students takes time and patience. I also have the students evaluate what strategies work best when separating them from their peers. After a meeting with the parent and student, together we develop a plan that involves modifying a targeted behavior, a monitoring system, and a reward chart. For example, one student is motivated to cooperate with class work by sitting alone and earning a beef jerky treat at the end of class while another works with his classmates to earn fruit clusters. Extrinsic motivation is key for these high energy students.

Fearful, Anxious, and High Functioning Autistic Learners

Some students are overwhelmed with specific assignments. When assessing their academic skills, I find that these students are capable but can become emotionally anxious or will not perform when asked to complete a rigorous academic assignment. When students are overwhelmed, I break down the assignment into smaller tasks for each student. These smaller tasks will eventually meet the requirements of a rigorous assignment. Frequent check-ins help encourage these students to move beyond their discomfort. Once many of these students get started, most are very successful and achieve beyond their anticipated abilities.

Delayed Learners

Unfortunately, some of my students do not test well and are significantly behind their grade level abilities. They have not yet qualified for special education services, but still must complete their assignments in class. Once I have identified their academic needs, I use computer adaptive online assignments for reading and math assignments. When teaching reading and math, I use small group instruction to reinforce basic reading and math skill development. I also seat learning challenged students with classmates who can help them complete grade level assignments. This year I discovered the power of personal notes. Boosting a student’s confidence in the area that you see growth helps them build self-esteem and lets them know you see them. I would attach a handwritten note to important assignments letting them know how hard they tried, commenting on an area of strength, and then letting them know where they could grow. A delayed learner needs their teacher to be their biggest cheerleader because the struggle can be overwhelming.

Overall Classroom Success that Supports Cooperation at Home

When I am responsive to the individual needs of each of student, they feel validated, respected, and work harder to achieve success. As a class, we set milestone achievement celebrations that might include a tech play day, pajama and cuddly critter day, and a pizza movie day. As a class, we evaluate our class performance each day and earn points towards participating in these larger classroom celebration days.

The strategies we use in class also work effectively at home for most students. Wishing you much success in supporting your child’s learning this school year.

Teaching Kids How to Be Kind

School is starting and our children will be learning new classroom management procedures with their new teachers in the next few weeks. Many of the classroom management procedures we use at our school stress being respectful and supportive to our classmates and our teacher. As a substitute teacher, I work very hard to be kind to all around me. This past summer, my grandkids observed me while I was very patient and considerate to service employees while vacationing. I extended these same acts of kindness to the grocery store staff, bank staff, restaurant personnel, and shoe store staff. I find that when I consciously act kinder to my family, friends, and community members, I am treated with more respect. I also consciously modeled this healthy behavior with my grandkids when they stayed with us in the summer. I was thrilled when my grandkids commended me for this healthy behavior!

Applying Kindness at School

As a substitute teacher, I created a variety of reading and writing learning modules for primary grade students that include human acts of kindness with the following topics:

• Family Values and Classroom Team Building
• Goal Setting and Extreme Weather
• Rattlesnakes and Venomous Snakes
• Winter Weather and Gratitude
• Bios of Famous People
• Solar System and Earth Day
• Soil, Conservation, and Waste Management
• Fractional Relationships Through Art
• Resume Writing
• How to Self-Publish and Enter Writing Contests

Writing and Applying Acts of Kindness

While exploring and writing on these topics, students will be able to apply human acts of kindness as they help each other with developing their stories, learning how to research information, and supporting each other through editing and tutoring. Students can learn more about how community members support each other through their research. They will also have a chance to share their stories with their classmates through gallery walks and pair and share storytelling. Older grade level students will be able to lead younger grade students in games during recess and help in the classroom with teacher led activities.

Building an Effective Classroom Management Model

As I increase my skills in modeling human acts of kindness, most students will be receptive to my modeling and will demonstrate their skills and abilities in sharing kindness with more classmates and friends. They will also serve as role models for the more challenged students and encourage their peers to work cooperatively together as a team. And finally, these kind leaders will guide their more challenged peers to cooperate for the good of the class and the healthy climate of the greater school community.

Happy new school year of collective kindness and care for all!

Beyond Backpacks: Setting Up for School Success (Part 2)

As summer starts to wrap up and the back-to-school excitement kicks in, most of us are thinking about new backpacks, fresh school supplies, and meeting this year’s teacher. Those things matter—but there’s something even more important that often gets missed: executive function skills. These behind-the-scenes brain skills are what really help kids start the year strong, no matter what grade they’re in. In my last blog, I described how parents can help their children establish routines, get organized, and make time tangible. This blog explains how parents can help their children become more flexible, manage impulses, and develop a working memory.

Flexible Thinking & Problem Solving: Embracing the Unexpected

School life rarely goes exactly as planned. Cultivating flexible thinking helps children adapt.

• Brainstorming Solutions: When a problem arises (“I forgot my lunch!”, “I don’t understand this math problem!”), resist the urge to immediately solve it for them. Instead, ask, “What are some ways we could solve this?” or “What’s your plan B?”
• Role-Playing Scenarios: Practice different social situations or academic challenges through role-playing. “What would you do if you finished your work early?” or “How would you ask for help if you’re stuck?”
• Emphasize Learning from Mistakes: Reframe mistakes as opportunities for growth. “That didn’t work out as you planned. What did you learn from it? What could you try differently next time?”

Sustained Attention & Impulse Control: Fostering Focus

In an increasingly distracting world, the ability to focus is paramount.

• Minimize Distractions: During homework time, create a low-distraction environment. Turn off TVs, put away phones, and limit background noise.
• “First/Then” Statements: For younger children, “First, finish your reading, then you can have screen time.” This helps them understand expectations and build perseverance.
• Mindfulness Exercises: Simple mindfulness activities (like focusing on breath for a minute or doing a quick body scan) can help children learn to regulate their attention and emotions.
• Delayed Gratification: Practice waiting for desired outcomes. This could be waiting for dessert or saving up for a toy. These small acts build impulse control over time.

Working Memory: Remembering and Applying Information

Working memory is about holding information in mind to use it for a task.

• Active Recall: Instead of just re-reading notes, encourage your child to explain concepts in their own words or quiz them on material.
• Visual Aids: Use graphic organizers, mind maps, or drawings to help children visualize and connect information.
• Break Down Instructions: Give instructions in smaller chunks. For multi-step directions, have your child repeat them back to you to ensure understanding.
• Games that Boost Memory: Incorporate games like “Simon Says,” “Memory,” or “I Spy” to playfully strengthen working memory.

Remember, building executive function skills isn’t a one-and-done deal—it’s a journey that grows over time with practice and patience. Involve your child in the process whenever you can. Let them help craft their routines, test out different ways to stay organized, and come up with creative solutions when things don’t go as planned. When kids feel ownership, they’re far more likely to stick with the strategies that work for them.

These skills aren’t just for school—they’re for life. By starting now, you’re giving your child a head start on navigating challenges, staying focused, and becoming a confident, independent problem-solver in an ever-changing world. So here’s to progress, partnership, and a fantastic school year ahead!