Grandparenting an Athelete

Grandparenting an Athlete

It has been an exciting school year. The younger granddaughters are learning gymnastics as they advance in their ballet classes and performances. Our middle school grandson has completed a full season of cross country. Our passionate middle school granddaughter juggles a full schedule of select soccer and volleyball. And our older grandchild loves to sail and snow ski. Our greatest challenge is to be fully present for each grandchild as we watch them compete and follow their passions. Each has their individualized preferences for how we are present for their various activities. All request various levels of encouragement. Some love us to cheer loudly while others want us to observe quietly. The older grandkids accommodate our support while the younger grandkids want our full-time participation at all events. Thankfully, we are the grandparents. Our only job is to support each grandchild with their preferred level of support and drive them to an event when requested.

Organizing the Sports/Activity Calendar

At the beginning of the school year, I contact each grandchild and ask them how much they want us involved in the sport and activity schedule. The younger they are, the more they want our attention. Once they express their wishes, I organize our activity attendance schedule. The twins love to show me their recent new dance and gymnastics steps at home. We are only required to drive them to class sometimes and are committed to attending formal performances twice a year. The middle school grandson’s schedule conflicted with the twins’ dance schedule. We volunteered to manage driving for the grandson’s Tuesday schedule while the parents and a babysitter shared driving for the twins’ schedule. I loved watching all cross country meets with our middle school grandson because he was passionate and excited about this new sport. We were encouraged to take photos at all events and share with our extended family. What a wonderful achievement! The older grandkids loved to have us attend many activities until middle school. Once in middle school we distanced ourselves as friends are very important and carpools are wonderful.

Cheering for a Grandchild Athlete

Next, we learned how to cheer for each child at their specific event. The ballet recitals were very disciplined so we quietly enjoyed the performances and awarded each twin with flowers after their performance when we all posed for family photos. The middle school cross country grandson loved having us cheer for him and his team. The coach encouraged outstanding teambuilding cheering for all athletes participating in the race. We took photos at each event and circulated them to family members. The older grandkids thanked us for coming and focused on their sport with their teammates. We were encouraged to cheer holistically for the team and remain calm and quiet.

What I Have Learned from the Coaches

The following are guidelines I have learned from coaches after years of team participation as an athlete, parent, and now a grandparent:

Be present for the entire team.
Listen to the coach and follow the rules.
Reinforce the coach’s rules with your athlete.
Cheer for the entire group of participants.
Don’t coach your athlete or the team from the observation areas.
Be positive at all times.
Don’t distract with unnecessary chatter.
Bring snacks that nourish your athlete and the team.
Offer support or help when requested from the coach.
Model positive sportsmanship for all attendees at a sporting event.

When I consider the value of team sports, I am thankful that all our grandkids value their experiences in their selected sports and team activities. This participation overcomes isolation and encourages lifetime friendships. It helps our grandchildren learn how to effectively work with teams at home, school, and eventually in their jobs and careers.

Share your experiences as a parent or grandparent supporting your athletes in the comments section below this blog.

How Parents Support Their Children’s Milestone Activities

Guest blogger P J Caposey described his daily challenges in teaching his kids how to manage their laundry. Should we give them access to the washer and dryer at age seven or wait until they’re teens? This is a dilemma parents have struggled with for generations.

All Night Washing and Drying

My adult daughters started washing their clothes around age twelve. Both had clothing allowances and they purchased expensive clothes. When they spilled something on their clothing, it became my problem if I could not remove the stain. That was when I decided that they could manage the washing machine and dryer. Added challenges included washing clothing all hours of the night for a sporting event or washing one item because it was needed for school. Thankfully, the washer and dryer were located in the garage so we did not hear the machines at night. There were a couple of times our daughter left lipstick in her pocket and everything in the wash load was ruined. My spouse hand scrubbed each piece of clothing with a cleaning solvent to wash out the lipstick. My daughter has never forgotten this kindness.

And What About Sports?

When the girls were not washing their clothes, they were participating in various sports. We quickly learned that we were not permitted to talk or cheer during games. We had to stay quiet even when we attended five sporting events a week.

Now I am a grandma and the stakes are much higher as my granddaughter is a very competent select soccer player. Thankfully, we did not cheer and only clapped at a recent exciting game. We now have been cleared to watch more games next season.

After each game, there is lots of time to reflect and discuss the various plays and activities. This is my time to shine and just listen and encourage. It is so much easier supporting my grandkids’ sports as I can walk away and not worry about the daily practices and ongoing difficulties on the field.

Gaining New Skills with Each Generation!

As a grandma, I have learned how to bounce a soccer ball off my head! I also impressed my granddaughter that I actually know how to play volleyball. The other day, my grandson was eager to show me his increased baseball skills. Guess who was not able to pitch over hand? I could only pitch under hand. All of my pitches nearly hit my grandson. He loved it and had a great time trying to hit anything that I pitched to him.

I am thankful that I can now fully enjoy the various sports and daily activities with my grandkids. Relish the journey as it passes quickly and gets easier with each generation of family members.

Conversations with My Grandchildren

In the last week, my grandchildren reached academic milestones. The twins took part in their promotion ceremony ending their elementary school years. They will be moving on to middle school in August. My oldest granddaughter graduated from middle school and will be starting high school; the same high school her parents attended.

My conversations with these three very important people in my life, and the types of interactions we have, are changing. Sometimes, when I visit them, they quickly greet me then take off into their bedrooms to do whatever they were doing. I barely see them during my visit. Other times, I’ll get into a conversation with one of them where I will gain insight into the person he or she is and is becoming.

They Share When They Are Ready

My grandkids know my values. They know what I want to hear and how to appease me. I want more than that in my relationship with them. I want them to be real with me. I get glimpses of realness at those times when they share about the things that are really important to them. For example, my oldest granddaughter shared about how she started a business making and selling Slime. It gave her such satisfaction that she now believes that after college she would prefer to be an entrepreneur than to work for someone. It was such a thrill to be privy to the dreams she is formulating for herself.

I got to witness my grandson deciding to attend a family gathering rather than his sister’s softball game. His reasoning was that his great grandmother may not be around for much longer, so he wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to spend time with her. My daughter and I were touched by his compassionate heart.

Go with the Flow and Listen

As pre-adolescents and adolescents, grandchildren are often consumed by their lives with friends and their own interests. As grandparents we can remain connected to them if we take an interest in that which is important to them. We can remain relevant if we are genuine about listening to them and accepting them as they are. Now that they are older, we have opportunities to just be with them doing fun activities without having to watch over them as we did when they were little.

I am enjoying sharing in this time of blossoming and maturing. It will not always be easy for them. I want to be able to love them through their trials and well as their victories, and I want them to feel that support from me when they need it.

With love and affection,

Rosemarie

Camp Grandma

beach-168791_960_720 When my children were growing up, many of their friends would be delivered to their grandparents’ home for a week to play and explore new adventures with their grandparents. When they returned from these mini vacations, they would rave for days about the many adventures they encountered on these treasured trips. Although my children did not have grandparents who traveled with their grandchildren, they were fortunate to share similar experiences with their friends’ families.

Vacations Without Parents

My children would love the opportunity to live a different life with a new family for several days. Once in high school, each daughter had a chance to live in Europe for several weeks during one summer with a different family. One daughter helped a family friend take care of their children in France. Another daughter was able to replicate this experience by participating as a Rotary Club Ambassador in Finland. Both of our daughters returned from this extended travel with more self-determination skills and confidence, as they each had encountered another country with a different language and lived with another family. Both successfully overcame many challenges on their own with our loving encouragement by phone.

Camp Grandma Trips

When I became a grandparent, I was determined to create a Camp Grandma experience for our grandchildren. We would convene a family meeting with our grandchildren on where we would take our vacation and plan our play activities. All participating grandchildren had to be at least age three and be prepared to challenge themselves in becoming more independent with their older cousins or siblings. We have had five Camp Grandmas to date and all have survived and relished the experiences of becoming junior rangers at a state park, surviving beach board walk carnival rides, and taking day trips biking, hiking, and exploring parks.

Favorite Trip

The favorite trip to date has been staying at the beach for several days and exploring nature, surviving wild carnival rides, playing in the tide pools and ocean, swimming in a pool, sharing ice cream cone eating with their cousins, and eating out at a variety of restaurants. The grandkids earn an allowance for maintaining their belongings, taking care of younger siblings and cousins, and tutoring each other on the intricacies of building a Lego village, math facts, reading readiness, social study explorations, and science experimentations. The token allowance is received at the end of the trip and the grandkids can select journal postcards to add to their collection of drawings and stories about their trip.

What Kids Learn

Once the children are returned to their parents, they relive their adventures for weeks by telling their stories of achievements to their parents and to anyone else who will listen to them. After a trip to the Santa Cruz Beach boardwalk for four days, my four year old grandson raved about living in a hotel as this was a new adventure that he loved. My six year old granddaughter was finally tall enough to take a ride with grandpa on the Big Dipper roller coaster. The nine year old grandson raved about the gourmet seafood platter he fully consumed at a fancy restaurant that was ordered from the adult menu!

Camp Grandma at Grandma’s Home

In response to COVID challenges, we modified our Camp Grandma experiences this year to learning new skills and taking daily excursions from our home to many local tourist sites. These included learning how to sew, making puzzles, watercolor painting, bike rides, ocean play, walking across the Golden Gate Bridge, visiting San Francisco tourist sites, and eating desserts at the Half Moon Bay Harbor. We also took each grandkid school shopping for clothes which all parents appreciated this year.

Our Favorite Camp Grandma Trips

Now that we have completed many Camp Grandma vacations, the grandkids continue to discuss the family traditions that they have established with us on these great adventures. So far, the beach vacation has won as the ideal vacation destination. The kids rave about their walk to the ice cream shop with their cousins at night. They brag about staying out until it is dark at the boardwalk to see the bright lights of the carnival rides.

These adventures will stay with them throughout their lives until they become parents themselves some day and initiate new family traditions. I feel fortunate that I am young enough as a grandma to share in these exuberant adventures. I am also mature enough that I can safely deliver the grandchildren back to their parents so that I can rest up for the next great adventure in grand parenting.

Happy fun adventures with your children and family!

Warm regards,

Mary Ann

Recording Observations in Science Notebooks

When I hike with my grandchildren, they make many observations along the way. They may watch a slug moving on a leaf, or worms slither around as they lift up a rock. They generate questions about the plants and animals they see. Often this leads to conversations that generate lots of ideas to explain what they have observed. It is valuable to record these observations and these comments in science notebooks.

Start Young

Recording observations can start with very young children by encouraging them to draw what they have seen. If children cannot yet write, they can dictate to parents or grandparents, who can then label the drawings. They may also record the children’s questions or observations next to the drawings.

Little by little, children will want to write for themselves. At first, they may write one letter or a series of letters they hear when they say name of the object they are depicting. This inventive writing should be encouraged. It is a vital step in the development of writing. Eventually, as their phonemic awareness increases and their phonics develops, children will fill in the missing letters and increase their written comments.

Academic Connection

In school, children will be asked to record their scientific observations as early as in kindergarten. The Next Generation Science Standards, adopted by the Sate of California in 2013, emphasize the expectation that kindergarteners will make observations to look for patterns in nature. It couples this standard with the English Language Arts standard about participating in research and writing projects.

We want to encourage children to think like scientists – to be observant; to put words to their thinking; and to record their thinking. We, as parents and grandparents, can encourage this process as we spend time in nature with them.

With love and affection,

Rosemarie