How to Parent Challenged Students

It is the dead of winter and students are locked up in classrooms with limited time to play outside due to unrelenting wind, cold, rain, or snow. Several students are recovering from viruses and flu. Many survive boredom by spending relentless hours playing computer games and visiting with their classmates online. Teachers are challenged with students suffering from cabin fever and mild winter depression.

Effective Classroom Strategies for Home Use

Here are 10 effective classroom management strategies that teachers use to calm students. These strategies are also effective for parents to use with their children at home.

Create a quiet space for children that is away from distractions and provides a nurturing environment. My classroom quiet space includes large soft huggable stuffed animals that children can lay on and read mediative books to self-regulate when overwhelmed with challenging situations.
Provide an assortment of fidget toys that may include squish and squeeze toys, rainbow relief sensory viewers, puzzle cubes, and fidget toys. These toys help students reduce their anxiety, relax, self-regulate, and concentrate.
Teach students slogans and cues to help them refocus and relax when learning difficult lessons.
Encourage students to breathe deeply and slowly exhale five times when feeling over-whelmed.
Integrate brain breaks throughout the day that may include dancing and singing with a video song, exercising, playing Simon Says with various movements, and participating in a daily run in favorable weather.
Have students participate in meditation and yoga activities before tests, after lunch time recess, and before large assembles.
Transition from one activity to another with fun brain breaks.
Reward students working extra hard with stickers and small incentive rewards.
Reward the class with points that are gained from focused learning and successful completion of assignments. A total of 50 points earned can be rewarded with special activities including pajama day, pizza party, popsicle treats, and technology day.
Reward the class on Fridays for a successful and productive week with 30 minutes of free play at the end of school day.

Emergency Survival Strategies

Some days are excessively difficult for struggling students. These 10 strategies can help teachers and parents reset a challenging day into a calmer day:

Have a staff member escort a student to a neutral area outside of the classroom for a time-out or for added time spent outdoors when weather permits.
Send the student to the nurse’s station or to the front office when the student is so overwhelmed with disturbing behaviors that may hurt themself or emotionally traumatize other students.
Conference with parents on a regular basis to ensure the parents of aware of their child’s challenged behaviors and work as a team to solve classroom misbehaviors.
Invite the student’s parent to volunteer in the classroom to help calm the student.
Partner with the parent to seek outside professional help for severely troubled students.
Model strategies that parents can use to help calm their child at home.
Encourage parents to practice regularly scheduled and relaxing bedtime preparation activities with their child that ensure sufficient sleep.
Encourage parents to prepare nutritional snacks and lunches that their child can easily eat at school.
Make sure the student drinks sufficient amounts of water daily and uses the bathroom regularly.
Enlist the assistance of the school nurse, counselor, and administrative staff when necessary.

When all else fails, the school staff will meet with parents to create a student success plan to monitor behaviors and ensure the student is receiving adequate support at home with partnership support at the school site.

Much success as you navigate the winter and spring quarters with your child in partnership with the classroom teacher.

Help for Troubled Students

Is Your Child Disruptive at School?

Each day, we drop our kids off at school or at the bus stop hoping they have a great day. No parent wants anything bad to happen to their children or secretly hopes that their child is not causing trouble all day. No parent teaches their child to be disruptive, to break school rules, or to defy authority “just because.” But as any teacher or school employee will tell you, there are kids in our classes where it sometimes feels like this is the case. We have students who cause disruptions from the moment they walk through the front doors. For some students, even the most simple and obvious correction of behavior erupts into defiance or argument. As a parent, when the school communicates about concerns, how do you respond?

How to Respond to School Staff’s Concerns

Of course no one wants to receive a call about their child’s misbehavior. No parent wants to have a conference in which they find out that their child is failing or behind academically. This type of news is always difficult to hear. How parents respond will determine whether students go down a path of entitlement or a path of learning, growth, and improvement. As parents, we can choose to bulldoze obstacles, ignore them, or help our children navigate the challenge they are currently facing head on. The latter will be a path that will lead them to greater success down the road.

Options for Change

The protective instinct as a parent is strong. Our intuition tells us that we need to remove every obstacle and every inkling of potential friction from our kids’ lives. We want them to live a life of safety, comfort, and opportunity. Unfortunately, what we have seen in recent years is that the effort to eliminate the challenges our kids face has fostered a society where kids are less and less motivated and equipped to solve problems on their own. When kids encounter obstacles, it is vitally important that parents help children identify the issue clearly. Parents must support kids to manage their emotions while they develop a plan for moving forward.

Holding Our Kids Accountable

Often, the first step in this process is ownership. Kids need to honestly assess the situation and accept their role and responsibility. When the challenge is a low grade or poor student behavior, taking a step of ownership allows students to accept that they are the ones who need to take responsibility to move forward.

Unfortunately, when parents bulldoze or excuse children from the behavior (and especially when they place the blame elsewhere) kids miss out on the opportunity to problem-solve their way past barriers. Kids need parents to hold them accountable and to help them navigate the tricky waters of ownership and responsibility.

Partner with the School

The good news is that school staff is eager to partner with parents to walk with you down this road! Be on the lookout for workshop opportunities and chances for you and your child to get involved at school events. Also, when the school calls to discuss an issue with your child (i.e., grades or behavior) be sure to take a breath, listen, and partner with the school to map a pathway forward!

Get Support for Your Child at School

Many schools these days share that they are a “PBIS school” or that they “Use the MTSS framework” for student support. The use of these acronyms may leave some parents feeling lost or unsure about the programs that are in place for their children at school. It’s important to know and understand the systems your child’s school uses so you can be informed when you are asking for support.

MTSS, a commonly used system for addressing student behavior and needs, stands for Multi-Tiered Systems of Support. In this framework, efforts to support students are divided into three categories: Tier 1 (universal supports), Tier 2 (group supports), and Tier 3 (targeted interventions). A breakdown of these tiers is provided below:

Tier 1: Universal Supports

These are supports and expectations that are in place for all students. One of the basic elements of this tier is having a set of clear expectations for all students that are taught and enforced in all areas of the school. Many schools use a set of expectations like, “Be safe, be responsible, and be respectful.” These are recommended expectations because they are easy to understand and most student work and/or behaviors would fall into these three categories if they need to be addressed. Schools also have explanations and examples of what meeting these expectations would look like in all areas of the school, including classrooms, walkways, and the cafeteria. Tier 1 supports may also include a school token economy or rewards system, and there may be a set of both positive and negative consequences for meeting (or not meeting) these expectations. Approximately 80-85% of students will be successful with just tier 1 level supports and interventions.

Tier 2: Group Support and Interventions

These supports will be necessary for 10-15% of the school population. For these students, they have a specific need that is not addressed by tier 1 supports, but it is still a need that at least a small group of students may have. For example, there may be a group of students who are bullying others or a group of students who are frequently absent from school. These students may be referred for group therapy, additional check-ins with a staff member, or they may be referred for after-school tutoring or a club.

Tier 3: Targeted Interventions and Supports

Tier 3 supports should only be necessary for approximately 5% of the population. These students need more targeted services and supports than most general education students, and school-based teams can work with families to determine which interventions are needed. For example, a student may have extreme anxiety, may be far behind academically, or they may have a need for individual counseling or therapy. Whatever the need, tier 3 interventions are typically unique and targeted to the specific needs of individual students. To be clear, not every need will require tier 3 supports; these interventions are reserved for more serious and urgent student needs.

If you believe your child needs support, make sure you go to the school and advocate for your child. Schools have systems, partnerships, and staff in place to bring these needs to the right people at the school so your child can get the support they need. Using this information about typical supports at a school will help you have a great conversation with the staff at the school to help find the right support for you and your family.

Teaching Our Kids Character Habits That Last a Lifetime (Part 2)

Teaching our Kids Character Habits That Last a Lifetime (Part 2)

When we help our kids learn character habits at school and at home, they excel more at school and home. My first blog post discussed how to help kids develop effective peserverance and leadership skills. Summarized below are strategies parents can use to help their children develop the character habits of empathy, bravery, and ethical behavior.

Empathy: See, Listen, and Feel with the Heart

Empathy teaches children to step outside themselves, understand others’ perspectives, and value diversity. It’s a cornerstone of healthy relationships and inclusive communities.

Build empathy by:

Talking about feelings and naming emotions
Asking reflective questions after social situations: “How do you think they felt?”
Reading diverse books that show different cultures, experiences, and points of view

Try this: Play “perspective switch”—have your child imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling in a situation.

Books to share:

I Walk with Vanessa by Kerascoët: A wordless book that shows a small act of empathy turning into a movement of kindness. Invites deep discussion across all ages.

Lubna and Pebble by Wendy Meddour: A touching story about a young refugee who finds comfort in a pebble and then chooses to comfort another. Beautiful for discussing empathy, courage, and friendship.

Bravery: Do Hard Things

Bravery isn’t just for superheroes. It’s for kids who try new things, speak up for what’s right, and believe in themselves.

Nurture bravery at home by:

Encouraging your child to take healthy risks (like joining a new group or speaking in front of others)
Supporting them when they make mistakes or feel nervous
Helping them advocate for themselves at school or in friendships

Try this: Ask, “What’s something brave you did today?”

Books to share:

Jabari Jumps by Gaia Cornwall: Jabari wants to jump off the diving board but has to face his fear first. A relatable and uplifting story of trying hard things.

Brave Irene by William Steig: Irene shows physical and emotional bravery as she battles a snowstorm to deliver a dress for her sick mother. A classic story of courage.

Ethical: Do the Right Thing

Ethical behavior means doing the right thing—even when no one’s watching. It’s about having integrity, especially when it’s hard.

Teach ethics by:

Modeling honesty and fairness in your own choices
Discussing real-life situations and asking, “What’s the right thing to do?”
Praising honesty—even when it comes with a tough consequence

Try this: Ask, “What do you do when no one is watching?” and celebrate those quiet wins.

Books to share:

Do Unto Otters: A Book About Manners by Laurie Keller: A humorous and engaging story about treating others the way you want to be treated. Fun, yet rooted in the golden rule.

A Bike Like Sergio’s by Maribeth Boelts: A boy finds money and wrestles with doing the right thing. Excellent for discussing honesty, temptation, and ethics.

My next blog post will discuss how parents can reinforce the character habits of accountability, respect, and service at school and in daily life activities that can last a lifetime.

How to Help Struggling Students Learn

It is a new school year with lots of exciting learning opportunities for my students. After completing several weeks of assessing and observing my students’ academic strengths and challenges, I have modified my teaching strategies based on best practices for children with English acquisition, behavior, and struggling reader needs. Listed below are successful strategies I am using to support some specific learning challenges.

English Learners

English learners receive weekly academic tutoring support from staff in a school-wide pull-out program. Additionally, English learners are seated next to compassionate and supportive English-speaking classmates who can interpret and guide their English learner peers with various assignments. Creating a safe environment is critical for my non-native speakers. Sentence frames and charted models were essential for them to use before they were willing to try on their own. Native speakers learn how to become effective tutors while guiding their English learner classmates. Additionally, to encourage organic speaking opportunities in the classroom, I moved to having student-teachers. After math tests were corrected, students who demonstrated understanding of a particular math problem from the test became the teacher for that problem. Even students who needed to work 1:1 with me during the test had an opportunity to articulate how to solve the problem to their peers. It was a natural way for them to reprocess their learning, raise their social status in the classroom, and build confidence.

Overly Active and Aggressive Students

Students with an undiagnosed learning challenge that may also include hyperactive/ attention deficit disorder can be frustrated and disruptive in traditional classroom settings. Some benefit from using sensory fidget toys to relieve stress and anxiety. Other students benefit from sitting apart from their classmates. Finding the proper setting for individual students takes time and patience. I also have the students evaluate what strategies work best when separating them from their peers. After a meeting with the parent and student, together we develop a plan that involves modifying a targeted behavior, a monitoring system, and a reward chart. For example, one student is motivated to cooperate with class work by sitting alone and earning a beef jerky treat at the end of class while another works with his classmates to earn fruit clusters. Extrinsic motivation is key for these high energy students.

Fearful, Anxious, and High Functioning Autistic Learners

Some students are overwhelmed with specific assignments. When assessing their academic skills, I find that these students are capable but can become emotionally anxious or will not perform when asked to complete a rigorous academic assignment. When students are overwhelmed, I break down the assignment into smaller tasks for each student. These smaller tasks will eventually meet the requirements of a rigorous assignment. Frequent check-ins help encourage these students to move beyond their discomfort. Once many of these students get started, most are very successful and achieve beyond their anticipated abilities.

Delayed Learners

Unfortunately, some of my students do not test well and are significantly behind their grade level abilities. They have not yet qualified for special education services, but still must complete their assignments in class. Once I have identified their academic needs, I use computer adaptive online assignments for reading and math assignments. When teaching reading and math, I use small group instruction to reinforce basic reading and math skill development. I also seat learning challenged students with classmates who can help them complete grade level assignments. This year I discovered the power of personal notes. Boosting a student’s confidence in the area that you see growth helps them build self-esteem and lets them know you see them. I would attach a handwritten note to important assignments letting them know how hard they tried, commenting on an area of strength, and then letting them know where they could grow. A delayed learner needs their teacher to be their biggest cheerleader because the struggle can be overwhelming.

Overall Classroom Success that Supports Cooperation at Home

When I am responsive to the individual needs of each of student, they feel validated, respected, and work harder to achieve success. As a class, we set milestone achievement celebrations that might include a tech play day, pajama and cuddly critter day, and a pizza movie day. As a class, we evaluate our class performance each day and earn points towards participating in these larger classroom celebration days.

The strategies we use in class also work effectively at home for most students. Wishing you much success in supporting your child’s learning this school year.